Lost And Found
by x.imagine.x
Summary: This story has been discontinued. I am going to try to elaborate on this same concept in a new story. Hopefully it will be better done.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, so, this is the sequel to Positive. It's slightly darker at the beginning, of course you'll see why once you read on. The style may be a bit different at first, but I'm still working all of that out. If you think i need to change the categories of the story, please tell me, because i honestly wasn't sure what to put this under.**

**I hope you like it!**

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**Chapter 1**

Cold. Dark. Fear. Pain. Running through my mind all at once. I have to get out of here. I have to leave. I can't handle the memories. The haunting, horrifying memories. Why won't they just leave me alone? Why can't I escape? The pain I feel cannot be expressed with words. It is too immense for emotions. I can only sit and stare straight ahead in shock.

'Mrs. Meyers… I'm afraid to inform you that there's been an accident…'

Why won't that voice get out of my head? Why can't it go away? It haunts me, just like the memories.

I can't seem to grasp a thought for very long. Every time I latch onto a sentence it slips away, back into the dark hole that's become my mind. I can barely move, let alone speak. I just sit and stare at the same damn spot on the wall day after day. Of course, I do have to move to eat and care for myself, but it feels as though I have no purpose anymore. My purpose is gone. My purpose was in that car…

Of course I have more than one purpose in this life, I just can't acknowledge any other purpose at the present time. For all I know at this stage in the game of grief, I'm the only person in the world, and right now, I don't care if I live or die.

People have been trying to call me, but I don't answer. I'm not in the mood for sympathetic faces. They try to understand, but I know the truth. Nobody knows how I am feeling. If they did, they wouldn't be standing there asking me that. Because a pain like this cannot be summed up. A pain like this cannot answer a question. A pain like this is too much to bear.

The morgue left a message. Funeral arrangements need to be made. I'm not in the mood for funeral arrangements either. They just reinforce the memories that much more. The memories that can't leave me alone. The memories that tell me how little time we had, and how much more we should have been able to share. I keep looking through photo albums, thinking maybe, just maybe, it'll undo everything that's gone wrong, and the world will be a happy place again. Of course, I know that's a long shot. My world's never going to be happy. Not after this.

I have to get away. I have to start over again. I have to leave this life behind.

I know where I'm going even before I start to turn on the spot. I haven't apparated in so long, and yet it works perfectly. I stare at the familiar wooden door before knocking softly. I finally let the tears of grief fall as my red-head friend answers the door. I collapsed into her, bawling. Ginny asked me what was wrong as she pulled me inside, but my only response was violent hiccoughing.

I managed to choke out one word, "Gone…"

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**A/N: Yeah, I know, it's short, but I'll update soon hopefully. So give me your predictions, who do you think is gone?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your reviews! Here's that wonderful update! (also, pretty sure I'm changing tenses here. Sorry! I tend to do that… I'm going to keep it in this tense though from now on. Again, because it's the easiest tense for me to write in. Jeez, I'm just taking the easy way out on everything these days, aren't I?)**

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**Chapter 2**

Ginny pulled my blubbering self inside, sitting me on the couch. I hadn't realized what time it was. Nearly 2:00 in the morning. But I was in too much pain to care if I'd woken the happy couple up. I'd be glad if I broke them up with my surprise visit. If I couldn't be happy, neither could they.

"Mione, honey, what's wrong?" Ginny asked gently, rubbing my back soothingly.

I heard Harry stumble out into the living room.

"Gin, what-" He stopped mid-sentence. I'm guessing he must have spotted me. "Hermione? What's wrong?"

I couldn't speak, I just cried. And cried. And cried. I couldn't believe that my world had been destroyed so completely. I was happily cooking, humming and just enjoying life in general when the doorbell rang, and my life shattered before my eyes.

"_Mrs. Meyers… I'm afraid to inform you, there's been an accident…"_

The words continued to haunt me as I continued to cry into Ginny's shoulder.

"Hermione, please. We can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on," Ginny gently prodded.

I finally cleared my head enough to be able to choke out two more words, "He's… Gone…"

Ginny's eyes narrowed in panic, "What? Who's gone? Gone Where? Mione, you aren't making any sense? Has something happened? Please tell us."

"He's dead! He's gone, he's dead, and he's never coming back!" I wailed, new tears streaming down my face.

I'd been sitting in the house for at least four days before I'd thought to come here. It had been four days. I hadn't talked to anyone after the customary conversations. They'd wanted to stick together, wanted me there with them, but I refused. I couldn't be around his family. I just needed to be alone. I loved him. So much. And now I'd lost him. I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't get along without him. He'd kept me level-headed and now he was gone and I was alone. I needed him, dammit! Why couldn't God see that? Why did God have to take him away from me? Is this punishment for lying? For keeping Mattie from everybody? Is this punishment for my choices? Is this Karma coming back to bite me in the ass? If it is, I hate Karma. Karma can leave me the hell alone. What more is there for it to take?

"Hermione? Mione?" Harry was shaking my shoulder. I hadn't noticed. "Who's gone? Tell us. Who's dead?"

I wailed again and choked out a distorted answer even I couldn't make out.

"What? Mione repeat that. I didn't hear it."

"DUNCAN!" I wailed louder than ever, collapsing into Ginny's shoulder in hysterics once again. I could tell that Harry and Ginny exchanged startled looks over my head as Ginny immediately started rubbing my back soothingly again, holding me tighter.

"Oh, Merlin! Mione I'm so, so sorry! How did this happen?" Ginny asked.

I just sobbed uncontrollably. Harry seemed to know that they weren't getting an answer anytime soon, and shushed his wife, telling her to stop asking me questions. I continued to cry until I couldn't cry anymore. At least for the moment. It was 4:00 in the morning now. I didn't even feel a twinge of guilt that I'd kept them awake for 2 hours with my blubbering. I didn't want to show emotion, it was a sign of weakness, but I couldn't stop once I started.

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I must have cried myself to sleep in Ginny's arms, because when I opened my eyes I was laying across the couch in she and Harry's flat with an afghan covering me. I exhaled deeply, calmly, before everything came rushing back.

Duncan had been in a car accident. He was dead. My husband was dead. My husband of six months was dead. Six months. That's all we got. Six months of happiness before he was taken prematurely from me. He was gone. And he wasn't coming back.

I slipped off the couch, padding to the bathroom. I knew where it was and didn't want to wake anyone. I closed the door quietly behind me, locking it. I braced myself against the sink and surveyed my face in the mirror. Wow. I was a mess. My eyes had large purple bags hanging under them, my hair was sticking out every which way, resonating make-up streaking down my cheeks. The make-up had been there for approximately five days, I guessed. I hadn't removed it since I found out and I hadn't reapplied any. I hadn't washed my face since either. I mean really waches it. The kind of wash where you scrub all traces of grime away. Maybe I needed to do that. Maybe it would wash all of this away. I needed a shower. I was still in the same clothes I'd worn two days ago. I found towels and turned on the shower, not bothering to ask permission first. I knew they wouldn't mind. I just couldn't bear to take a shower in the house anymore. It brought back too many memories. _This is stupid, Hermione. It's just a shower…_I told myself. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was safer to just shower here.

As I stepped in and was washing myself off, basking in the warm water flowing freely over my tired muscles, I could swear I heard his voice. Teasing me. I eagerly poked my head out from behind the curtain, hoping to see him standing there, and was utterly disappointed when the bathroom was empty. I felt fresh tears sting my eyes when I realized that he would never be there again, ever. No. I refused to cry. Not anymore. I was done crying. Hermione Granger doesn't cry. I refused to acknowledge my proper last name. It hurt too much. I stepped out of the shower, not wanting to use all of their hot water, towelling off. I dressed in the same clothes, no matter how dirty they felt, and wrapped my hair in a towel. I'd apparate back later to get fresh clothes… maybe.

As I emerged from the bathroom, I saw Ginny sitting at the kitchen table, holding a mug of coffee.

"I used your shower," I said in a monotone, "I hope that's alright."

"It's fine, Mione." Her voice was full of sympathy. I winced. I didn't want sympathy.

Ginny rose and retrieved a clean mug from the cupboard, offering it to me. I attempted a smile, unsuccessfully, and accepted it.

"Look, I don't want to move too fast or anything, but where's Mattie?" Ginny asked timidly.

My eyes widened, "Oh… My gosh! I totally forgot about her! Oh no! I have no clue where she is! Ginny, I'm a terrible mother! Ron was right, I shouldn't be taking care of her! I'm unfit!" I continued in a rant, pacing back and forth. Ginny tried to calm me down, but it didn't accomplish much. I finally apparated back to the house mid-sentence, leaving Ginny shocked.

I burst through the door, calling out, "Mattie!"

As I ran to the living room I stopped short, seeing a red-headed man sitting stiffly on the couch, and my daughter sitting on the floor playing.

"Oh, Mattie!" I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd forgotten Ron had been taking care of her that day.

Ron turned, anger etching lines into his face, "Where in the hell have you been?"

I blinked. I'd forgotten he didn't know. I hadn't thought to tell him. He'd been keeping Mattie for the May long weekend. May. It was May? I didn't even know anymore. It was a day past when she was due to be returned, and I remembered with a jolt that I had been supposed to pick her up from Ron's apartment. Ron had gotten the apartment shortly after he dropped the case. He'd also informed his parents of his move, and of Mattie. I hadn't been anywhere near The Burrow when he'd broken the news. I hoped I didn't have to go anywhere near them ever again. I was pretty sure that my name was forbidden there now, as was my face. Apparently Ginny and Harry hadn't explained their involvement in the whole plan, and Ron had specifically asked them not to.

"Well?" a very angry Ron demanded.

I tried to remain composed as I said stiffly, "I'm sorry. I was out of reach."

"Out of reach? Out of reach?! How can you just go out of reach like that? You scared me half to death! I had no idea where you were! You have obligations Hermione! You have a daughter to take care of! You can't just disappear! What would you do if I disappeared?"

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Sorry? That's not going to cut it Hermione! And where the hell is Duncan? Don't tell me it was his idea to go gallivanting around instead of staying to take care of a child!"

As Ron spoke his name, I finally lost it once more. Tears fell from my eyes as I thought of how Ron had yelled his name as though he were evil or something. _My_ Duncan.

Ron frowned, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, combing my fingers roughly through my hair.

"Mione? What is it?" It was then that Ron noticed the glaring absence in the house. "Where's Duncan?" he questioned, still frowning.

I shook my head again as suppressed sobs racked through my ribcage, threatening to escape and give me away.

"Mione? Why are you crying? Did that git…?" He was cut off by my screams.

"No! Don't talk about him like that! He's one of the most caring men I ever knew!" I shrieked, startling Mattie into tears. My face was red and I finally let loose my sobs. I sank to the floor and allowed myself to succumb to the grief. Allowing myself once more to cry. My sobs grew louder as Ron tried to comfort Mattie, eventually moving out of the room, frown etched in place.

When he returned I was still crying loudly and obnoxiously.

"Hermione? What the hell is going on? What do you mean _knew_? If he hurt you-"

I cut him off again, screaming once more, " NO! DON'T SAY THAT! HE DIDN'T HURT ME! HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME!"

I had stood up and was now facing him, my arms clenched into fists by my side.

Ron looked confused, and very taken aback, "Then what's going on here?"

I didn't say anything more, just shook my head again.

"Mione, did something happen? Did Duncan… leave…?" He ventured. God, he was so damn clueless.

"NO! He did not leave, Ronald! HE'S DEAD!" I finally screeched. Ron's eyes widened in shock. I could tell he hadn't been expecting that one. "He's dead," I repeated in a softer tone, "He's dead and he's never coming back."

I crumpled to the ground, wailing similarly to the way I had been a few hours earlier.

Ron stooped down, gathering me in his arms, holding me tightly. "Oh gosh, Mione. I am so sorry… I had no idea. It's going to be alright."

I pulled back abruptly, incredulous at his words, "How can you say that?! How can you say that everything's going to be alright after my husband died?! Nothing is going to be alright! Nothing will ever be alright! NEVER!"

Ron flinched, immediately seeing his mistake, "Oh no! I didn't mean that! I'm so sorry!"

I just sniffled as he pulled me close once more. I let him. I don't know why I did, but I felt better. It felt right for him to be comforting me. I felt better in his arms. But I shouldn't. My husband just died. I shouldn't be finding comfort in my ex-boyfriend and father of my child's arms. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right. I pulled away for the second time, apparating on the spot. I left Ron startled and panicked and very confused, but I had to get away. I couldn't stay. I had no clue where I was going, but it wasn't anywhere in Canada, it wasn't anywhere in England, and it sure as hell wasn't anywhere people knew my name anymore…

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A/N: Don't worry, I've got some stuff up my sleeve that you guys won't see coming… at least I hope not… betcha didn't see her running away again…


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: OK, so this isn't as good as the original, but it's the best I could do… Sorry! This wasn't how it originally went, but I'm kind of glad because I like this plot better than the other one I had. The other one did pretty much nothing for the story. This one progresses it along nicely. **

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**Chapter 3**

I stared up at the ancient, eerie house. I hadn't planned on coming here, I'd just done it. I'd apparated wanting safety and security, and I'd ended up here. But looking at the peeled paint and boarded up windows, I knew that this house could offer me little security anymore. This house used to be so full of life, so beautiful. Now, it was dilapidated and ugly. It looked haunted. I wouldn't be surprised if ghouls had taken up residence inside…

I drew a deep breath before swinging open the gate. The rusted hinges gave a loud creak as I stepped into the yard. As much as I hated to say it, I had wanted this to be the same, because I needed something constant. And it hurt that my childhood home wouldn't offer that comfort. This was no longer the home I had known. But things change… so maybe I needed to let it go…

I paused on the cracked cement walkway to take in the overgrown bushes and dead grass. The rusted swing set and frayed rope of the tire swing hanging from the old maple tree reinforced my belief. This wasn't home anymore.

I continued at a steady pace up until the caved in, wooden steps. I wasn't entirely sure if they would hold my weight any longer. I lifted my foot tentatively onto the first step. I heard a creak but nothing more as my other foot followed the first one. I managed to climb the three steps to the porch without anything collapsing. The wooden boards groaned under the weight they weren't used to, but didn't snap, to my relief. I reached the front door, pausing again. I wasn't sure if I could do this. I didn't want to enter my house only to find everything was damaged or broken. I couldn't handle it if everything was ruined. I took a slow step toward the door. I reached out my right hand to pull back the screen door, but my hand halted, resting on the splintered wood above the metal handle. The fingers of my left hand extended to touch the delicate wire mesh framing the first door as I stepped closer to it. I spread out my left hand so my palm rested against the screen and closed my eyes, just listening to the silence for a minute. Eventually, the fingers of my right hand grazed the wooden doorframe as they travelled down to grip the rusted handle. I stepped back a little, allowing my other hand to fall slowly to my side. I gingerly pulled the door back and steadied it with my right hand as my left reached for the knob of the solid oak door.

The floorboards creaked as I stepped into my home. I looked around, almost scared of what I could find. It wasn't as bad as I had thought it could be. The furniture in the drawing room remained covered by white sheets, and there was an inch of dust coating all surfaces. Mouse droppings also littered some surfaces. After I finished my inspection of the first floor (which only consisted of me taking a few steps in each general direction), I climbed the stairs to the second storey. The stairs emitted the usual sounds of worn down wood as I ascended carefully. I paused in the doorway of each room briefly, before going on to the next. Everything seemed to be the same, just not as decorated as it once had been. As my hand rested on the brass knob to my old room, I took what seemed to be the fiftieth deep breath I'd taken today. As I walked into my room, I was almost glad to see that nothing much had changed. My bed was still in the same place, as was the dresser against the opposite wall. The small closet that I had complained about many a time was also still the same. No boxes of belongings were in any rooms, for they were all locked away in the attic. I was sure that it was a safe place for everything, seeing as I had sealed the door magically. Then the thought occurred to me that I could get in without my wand. Ideas began to swarm in my head as I thought of the magical world I'd left behind. I squashed them all within a matter of moments. I wasn't even going to consider it. I'd given up magic for a reason.

As I left the house a half-hour later, I was still unclear of the purpose of the visit. It had done nothing but reinforce the grief growing rapidly inside. It was no longer just for Duncan anymore. Even though I had let go of the last strand of hope I held to rediscover my parents, my childhood home was a different matter. As long as I held onto that, it was like a piece of them was with me. If I let go of the home, it was like I was letting go of them for good. It wasn't the same as holding out hope of finding them again. I was afraid that I would forget them if I got rid of this house. I couldn't lose everything all at once.

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I cast one last look at my childhood home, feeling a bit better than when I had come. Maybe this place still held some comfort after all. I almost smiled as I turned on the spot, appearing on Ginny's doorstep. Ginny happened to be sitting on the stairs when I apparated, and she jumped about a foot in the air when the pop announced my presence.

"Hermione! Thank Merlin!" She cried, standing and flinging her arms around me.

"Um… it's great to see you too Gin…"

Ginny backed away from me, smacking my arm with as mush strength as she could muster. Which is a lot.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For disappearing like that! We had no idea where you were! You have to stop this!"

"I'm sorry. I just… had to get away…"

Ginny's features softened considerably as she half-smiled, "I understand, but it still doens't excuse it. You have a child, and you can't just abandon her..."

I'd tried to block everything out until this point, but seeing her obvious sympathy caused reality to come crashing back down on me. Duncan was dead, Mattie was with Ron, my parents weren't about to be found, and my childhood home was dilapidated and ruined. My life couldn't possibly be any worse.

"Mum's told us to bring you round for dinner one of these days," Ginny told me. Okay, I was wrong, it could get worse. There was no way I wanted to face Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Especially not after what I'd done…

"Um… are you sure she'd even want me there? I mean… I kept her granddaughter from her… Not exactly forgivable…"

"Ron managed to."

"Yeah, but he still doesn't trust me, and he also hasn't completely forgiven me. Mrs. Weasley… I really don't want to face her right now Ginny… I'm just not ready to be judged right now… Even if I deserve to be…"

Ginny nodded in understanding, "So, how are you holding up?"

"Fine." I wished people would stop asking me that. That was the original reason I stopped answering the phone and the door. I couldn't take their questions.

"Mione… you just randomly disappeared for three hours. That doesn't sound fine to me."

"Well how do you expect me to be? My husband just died Gin!"

"Right. I've never realized just how stupid that question is. I'm sorry. Can I do anything?"

"No. I should probably find Ronald. He's most likely livid… I disappeared right in front of him…"

"Yeah. He was the one that called us. I guess we should find him…"

Just then Harry came out the front door. He stopped short when he saw me.

"Hermione! You're alive!" He cried.

"Yeah… Why wouldn't I be?"

"You scared us! Ron said you'd disappeared…"

"So… where is Ron?" I asked.

"He's at his flat. He needed to take care of Mattie. You know… The daughter you left behind when you disappeared…" Harry answered. He sounded a touch angry.

"I'm sorry I left like that. I just couldn't handle it. I had to get away."

"Running from your problems won't make them go away."

"I know. Ron's told me as much. I just needed to get away from him. I felt so guilty…"

"Well- wait… what did you have to feel guilty about?" Harry questioned, his eyes narrowing.

"For… uh… for worrying him."

"You were feeling guilty for worrying him when you disappeared… so you disappeared again…"

"Yeah, I know… makes no sense to you."

"You're right. It doesn't. I'd suggest you find Ron. He's probably worried sick," Harry said, before retreating back indoors.

Ginny rounded on me, "Ok, what's really going on?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. Why did you feel guilty?"

"I told you."

"You lied. What's the real reason?"

"Fine. I…Well Ron was waiting for me when I came back, and he was livid. I hadn't told him I'd be going away and he had Mattie and I wasn't there and he said he was worried and we got into an argument and I finally told him that Duncan was dead and he put Mattie in her room and he hugged me…"

"And?" Ginny had obviously been expecting more.

"That's it."

"That's it? Ron hugged you and you felt guilty?"

"Well… no. It's not that he hugged me. It's that I felt comforted. And that it felt right. I mean, my husband just died and here I was getting comforted by my ex-boyfriend, and the father of my child! I felt like I was cheating on him Gin. So I left."

"Oh Mione!" Ginny exclaimed softly, engulfing me in her arms, "A hug is supposed to give comfort. You weren't cheating on him. You did nothing wrong."

I nodded slowly, "I know. It just felt like I was."

We continued to stand there for a moment before I straightened away from her embrace.

"Thank Ginny. For making me feel better."

"Anytime."

"I should probably go find Ron now."

As I apparated to Ron's flat, memories started coming back. This was the flat he'd kicked me out of. This was the flat he'd proposed to me in. This was the flat that had held so much of my life… I knocked. As the door swung open I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

"Ron I'm so sorry I took off like that! I shouldn't have!" I immediately apologized.

"It's fine. Just don't let it happen again. If you do… well… I don't know."

"Right. Where is she?"

"Sleeping. I was having a drink with… a friend before you got here."

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I can go…"

"No. It's alright."

"I'll pick her up in the morning then?"

"Sounds good. Wait-" I paused, having just realized what 'having a drink' meant, "You're drinking alcohol with my child in the next room?"

Ron flinched, "Just butterbeer."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever you say Ronald. I don't want you drinking in front of my child!"

"OUR child. She's fine. It's not like I'd get drunk. I'm responsible."

"And I'm not?!" I asked incredulously.

"Never said you weren't although disappearing randomly isn't the most responsible thing to do…"

"Whatever."

"You could check on her if you'd like. Make sure she's fine."

"I think I will."

I made my way back to the room that Ron indicated, and smiled softly at my sleeping angel.

"Goodnight Mattie. Sleep well." I was about to leave when I paused, "You won't remember him, but Duncan was a great man. I swear he loved you like his own. He was there you know. During your birth. He was the one that talked me through it. I really, really loved him Mattie. Merlin, I loved him so much!" I collapsed into the rocking chair, "It's not fair. It's not fair that he was taken away from me… It's not fair that he was taken away after such a short life! Life just isn't fair, Mattie. I hope it's fair to you, I just know it won't be. I only wish I could protect you from it." I leaned down and softly kissed her forehead before finally leaving the room.

I entered the kitchen to tell Ron I was leaving, but as soon as I saw his companion I froze in shock.

_"Malfoy?!"_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So sorry it's taken me so long! **

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**Chapter 4**

"Malfoy?!" I exclaimed, thoroughly surprised by the appearance of the blond-haired wizard in Ron's house. I was under the impression that Ron hated Malfoy, and Malfoy felt the exact same way.

"Granger," He sneered. Same old Malfoy.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned stupidly, still too shocked to inject any form of emotion other than surprise into my tone.

"What does it look like?"

"No. I mean why are you here? Of all places?"

"Ron and I were discussing some… business propositions I have for him…"

"Business propositions? Ron, what's going on here?" I whirled on Ron. How could he not have told me he was friends with Draco Malfoy?

Ron shuffled his feet, "Yeah. Drake and I were having a drink and going over some business plans."

"Drake? Plans? As in going to happen? What exactly are these plans?"

"Granger," Malfoy drawled, "These plans are confidential. As in, not for your beady little eyes."

"I have a right to know what you are doing with my child in the next room Malfoy! Whatever Ron does affects Mattie as well. And as for eyes, don't even get me started on yours."

"Alright you two! Enough!" Ron cut off any rebuttal Malfoy had planned. "Mione, I'll explain it all later."

"Ronald-"

"Hermione, no. I told you I'll explain later. Just please go. I don't want any duels breaking out with Mattie in the next room."

"Duels? That'd be a little hard, considering I haven't touched my wand in two years, don't you think?" I snorted.

"Wait? You gave up magic?" Malfoy sounded triumphantly disbelieving. "The one the teachers all called the brightest witch of her age, actually gave up magic?!"

"Yes. Now drop it Malfoy," I snapped.

"Fine. Just answer me this: Why? Why would you give up magic?"

I swallowed.

"Drake…" Ron warned.

"What? I'm just curious."

"It's fine Ron," I assured him, before turning to the pale, blond man before me, "I fell in love with a muggle, and decided to keep it a secret."

"Wait? Is this the guy that you cheated on Ron with?"

"No," I said through gritted teeth. Malfoy had crossed the line of what I was comfortable with.

"Well then who is this muggle?"

"That's enough Drake." Ron said quietly, although with a tone of finality.

Malfoy held up his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay. I was just curious."

I just glared at him. I turned to the door, furious that Ron didn't tell me he was friends with Draco Malfoy. I'd tear him a new one tomorrow. I didn't want to cause a scene with Mattie in the next room.

"Granger!" Malfoy called out after me. I turned back reluctantly. "We should go out for a drink sometime and catch up. See how life's been for you since Hogwarts. Get your perspective on the stories I've heard…"

My lips tightened, and I could feel my face flushing. How dare Ron tell him! How dare Ron talk about me with Malfoy! "Not likely," I snapped, and stalked out the door.

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"Ginny, how come you neglected to mention that Ron was friends with DRACO MALFOY?!" I hissed as soon as Ginny opened the door.

Her eyes widened in horror, "He was there?"

"Yes! They were having a drink and discussing business propositions!" I snarled.

This time Ginny frowned, "Business propositions? Ron hasn't mentioned anything…"

"Well they are! And since when have Ron and Malfoy become friends?"

"Since…well… you know…"

"No, I really don't."

"Shouldn't you ask Ron these questions?"

"I'm asking you!"

Ginny sighed, "Fine! Ron and Malfoy have been friends ever since… ever since you left. I guess they… bonded… over the cheating thing… You know how Malfoy's wife cheated on him… I guess they just found something in common when they were both getting plastered."

"Plastered? Ron got plastered?"

"Mione. You cheated on him, and then disappeared out of nowhere. He had a right to get plastered. Malfoy's wife had a year long affair, with her boss! They both had reasons to get plastered, and they both ended up bonding over those reasons… I'm not saying that I support the choice… I hate Malfoy as much as the next Gryffindor… But I can't change Ron's mind, so we've learned to cope with it. You need to learn to cope with it too."

"How can I learn to cope with that… prat around my child! He is not a good influence!"

"I know Mione. You'll just have to talk to Ron about this."

"You know, I still don't understand why you couldn't have mentioned this to me. A tiny little detail such as this might have been included!"

Ginny winced slightly, "Sorry. I didn't want you to panic…"

"Well, I'm panicking now!"

"Sorry! Why don't you come inside?"

"Actually, I think I need to go home. There's stuff I need to take care of. I have to call Trish in the morning. I haven't talked to her since… since I told her the news…"

A look of brief understanding crossed my best friend's face and she nodded, "Go ahead Mione. We're always here if you need us."

I grimaced, "Thanks, but I'm going to go home, sleep, call Trish, and the chew Ron out over his new friend…" I shuddered when I referred to Malfoy as Ron's friend. It didn't sound right at all…

* * *

**A/N: So I am so sorry it's short. I just wanted to get something up. And it seems that people will wonder why Hermione isn't really grieving a whole lot. Well, I will explain that. I'm pretty sure I explained it in the A/N of the chapter I deleted, so here's the explanation.**

**I picture Hermione's grieving process as avoidance. I think of her as not wanting to grieve because then she will have to acknowledge that it is real. So she tries to absorb herself in as many other issues as possible to avoid grieving. She also doesn't want to appear weak, so she doesn't want to grieve in front of others.**

**I hope that clears up any issues of any confusion you may or may not have.**

**Also, my friend has brought it to my attention that I had said Hermione wasn't going anywhere in England, so I have come up with a nice explanation for that. A nice lovely, totally plausible, *coughs*, explanation. So here it is. Let me know if it is believable or not!**

**So, Hermione and her parents lived in London during her time at Hogwarts, but before that, they lived in Ireland. They moved to England when she was 9, so that's the reason for her lack of Irish accent: She already adapted to the British accent. So she went to her home in Ireland. Her parents didn't sell the house when they moved away, instead choosing to rent it out. The renters have since vacated the premises, so that's why it was empty. Nobody was around to keep the house up, so that's why it was all rickety. Her parents still rightfully own the house, so she can't sell it, but that will all be sorted out.**

**So I hope this explains everything. If you still have any questions, please feel free to ask them and I will answer at the beginning of the next chapter. **

**I'm pretty sure that my next update will take awhile. Sorry.**

**Alright, long author's note is officially over!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: alright, I know I said that it would be a while, and it has. I actually had this ready to go yesterday, but silly me got distracted… so I'm now posting it… I won't get distracted this time… promise!**

**I was unsure of if I wanted to launch into one of the more major twists I have planned right now or not, but I decided against it. I got another idea instead. **

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 6**

"Trish… I know... I'm sorry I've been out of touch. I just… needed some time." I attempted to keep the choking tears out of my voice. I wasn't about to give in and let Trish hear the weakness. I wouldn't let anyone think I was weak. Hermione Meyers was not weak.

"It's alright… I understand… I needed some time away from it all too… I just don't understand why you never told us you were going to disappear from all contact. We were worried until Ron told us you were okay." Trish sniffled.

"Ron told you?"

"Yeah, he told us that you were fine and would be out of touch for a bit."

"Oh… I didn't know."

"Yeah. At least he was thinking of us."

I winced, "Sorry."

Trish sighed, "It's alright, I'm sorry too. I guess this is just all getting to me… I just… I miss him so much. It's hard… to keep living when he's not there… I tried to call him the other day… got his voicemail and it hit me… he wasn't-" Trish broke off in sobs. I took a shaky breath. This was why I didn't talk to them. Our conversations ended up with them in tears. It always made me want to cry, but I couldn't… I couldn't cry because that would make it real… as long as I avoided the grief it wouldn't ever have to happen, and I could continue living as though nothing had ever happened… ever.

"Look, Trish… I have to go. I'll call later on. Bye." I hung up before she could respond. I'd made a huge mistake calling her. It was making everything that I'd so cautiously blurred come back into focus. I felt tears glaze my eyes, before I shook my head, fuzzing out all dangerous areas of my brain once more.

There was a light knock at the door. That would be Ronald. Good. I was in the mood to smack something. If it just happened to be my ex-boyfriend and the father of my daughter so be it. I sure didn't care. I just needed to forget about… Him.

I flung the door open, "About time Ronald."

"What's your problem?" he asked, steeping past me into the house.

"My problem?! My problem is that you neglected to mention that you were buddies with DRACO MALFOY!"

"I didn't see it as a problem!"

"Not a problem? How can that not be a problem?"

"How is it a problem?"

I took a deep, calming breath, "It is a problem because I was under the impression that you hated Malfoy, and then I find him in your kitchen, drinking, while my daughter is in the next room!"

"So?"

"So, I will NOT have that prat hanging around my daughter! He's a horrible influence!"

"He's different! He's not like he was in Hogwarts! He's changed, Mione!"

"People like him don't change, Ronald!" I yelled shrilly.

"How would you know?"

"Because he's Draco Malfoy! Arrogant prat! He has a Dark Mark for Merlin's sake!"

"That's in his past!"

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I trust him!"

"Why? Why would you trust that snake?"

"Because he's honest with me. He knows what I went through… after I found out you cheated on me."

"How can he even begin to understand? The man doesn't have a heart Ronald! So how can he know how you felt?"

"You underestimate him. And you're still judging him based on old impressions. You need to get to know him better as he is now to really understand him."

"I think I'll pass thanks," I told him sarcastically, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Then quit judging him. He's different."

"Ronald, he is not different!"

"How would you know?!" he yelled, his face slowly turning red.

"Because he's Draco Malfoy! I thought I'd made it perfectly clear that people like him don't change!"

"And I thought I'd made it perfectly clear that he has, and that you can't say he hasn't unless you talk to him, civilly!"

"Ronald you're not listening."

"No, you are not listening Hermione. You can't just hold grudges! It's not healthy! You can't keep anything bottled up either! Stop taking your grief out on Draco! He doesn't deserve it! And neither do I."

I flinched. I wasn't taking my grief out on Draco. I was justified in not wanting that creep around my child. He was just that: a creep.

"You know I'm right. You can't let yourself grieve so you're angry! And you're getting angry at the wrong people!"

"That's not what I'm doing Ronald."

"Yes, it is. I know you. It's exactly what you're doing."

"No! It's not! You don't know me! Stop trying to pretend that you do, because you don't! I wasn't married to you! The one that did know me, my husband, is DEAD!" I screeched.

Ron's face contorted into a straight line. He looked extremely calm.

"Fine. If that's the way you want it. I'll leave you alone. Swing by anytime you want to see Mattie. I'll keep her until you can be a fit parent."

"Wait! I'm a fit parent, when have I ever not been?"

"Hmmm… I don't know… maybe when you disappeared randomly?! TWICE?!" He shouted sarcastically. "Until I can be sure you won't just disappear and leave Mattie, I'm not letting you take care of her."

"Ronald! That's not fair! You can't deprive me of my daughter! I'd never leave her!"

"I can, and I will. I want what's best for my daughter and right now you need to grieve Hermione. You need time alone, without the responsibility of a child to look after."

"But that's part of having a child Ronald! Their needs come before yours! I can't just forget about her and grieve!"

"That's why I'm here. To take care of her when you can't. I am capable of this, you know."

"Ronald-"

"No. No buts. I'll let things go back to normal when you do."

With that he turned on the spot and disappeared with a pop. I collapsed onto the couch. Now what was I going to do?

I got up slowly and walked over to the phone. I had 3 new messages. One was from Trish, another from my boss, and the last was from Memorial Funeral Chapel. I sucked in a breath before pressing 1 to review it.

"Mrs. Meyers, it's Sam Dailey from Memorial Funeral Chapel calling. I am very sorry for your loss. I am calling regarding funeral arrangements for your late husband. I understand that you need time to come to terms with your loss, but as soon as you would like, you may call me at 555-7586 and we can start making arrangements. Thank you." BEEP.

I bit my lip, swallowing thickly as I pressed the 'End' button. On a whim, I dialled the number Sam had left. Merlin knew I needed the distraction…

* * *

"Yeah, so it's all set Trish. You can just pick the date and I'll get you to look over what I have planned and we'll adjust it so it suits you too," I told her over the phone. I'd met with Sam a week ago and we'd started planning the funeral right then. It gave me something to do, something to keep myself busy with. Even if it didn't take my mind off him completely, it still distracted me enough that I couldn't think about missing him.

"You… what have you been doing? Have you even been grieving at all, Hermione?"

"Yeah…"

"You sure have a funny way of showing it! I've never even seen you shed a tear over him! Did you even love him?"

I gaped at the phone, "How can you say that? Of course I loved him! Why do you think I married him?"

"Well maybe, if you loved him as much as I did, you'd give a damn that he's gone!"

"I do give a damn! You don't know me enough to accuse me otherwise!"

"I've known you for the year and a half that you've been with my brother!"

"That's not long enough to really know me though! You can't accuse me of anything Trish. If you really knew me, you'd know I'm not a cry-baby."

"So I'm a cry-baby if I cry over my dead brother?!"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I don't cry a lot!"

"Duncan is DEAD, Hermione. I think that warrants some tears! What are you, a sociopath?"

"No!"

"Well then you're messed up! Get some help."

"I don't need any help!"

"Yes, you-" Trish broke off suddenly, and there was silence from the other end of the phone.

"Trish?" I ventured tentatively.

There was a sigh from the other end of the line, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I just- I'm- I don't even know anymore! I just can't deal with this."

"It's alright Trish… I understand how you're feeling… because I feel that way too."

"It's just… I cry non-stop, and then I look at you, and I've never seen you cry once. I just wish that I could be like that. Strong."

"I'm anything but strong. You didn't see me the first few days, after I moved from the couch."

"Yeah, but that's to be expected. Your husband died. You're supposed to cry, Hermione."

I was silent. She had a point… But I wouldn't let her get to me. I couldn't allow myself to grieve, because as soon as I gave in, it would consume me; I would get lost in it. Give an inch, take a mile. I wasn't about to give in, because I knew that once I did, I'd drown.

* * *

I opened the front door to reveal Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Mattie dressed in all black. I took a deep breath, this was it…

I slipped on black heels that matched my own black dress and, grabbing my purse, stepped out into the brilliant sunlight. We all looked at each other solemnly as we turned simultaneously on the spot, apparating outside of the funeral chapel. We appeared in the back, so nobody spotted us. I objected to apparating with Mattie whenever it could be avoided, but I just hadn't had the energy to argue with Ron's logic that it wouldn't hurt her today.

I sucked in another deep breath before leading the way up to the front doors. This was it…

* * *

I managed to hold my composure for the duration of the service. It was difficult, but I did it. I couldn't let all these people see me cry. That would be the ultimate vulnerability…

I inhaled sharply as Trish and the rest of my in-laws stood to exit the pews, where they would then file into the limo. I followed them, detached, but stopped just before the limo. Ginny seemed to know that I wouldn't be going, and came to offer me a ride. I allowed her to pull me along in slide-a-long apparation. I walked numbly towards the empty grave as soon as we popped into the cemetery. Soon my husband would be lowered into that hole, and dirt would be thrown on top of him, and he would be buried, forgotten to all…

* * *

I closed my eyes, concentrating on breathing evenly.

"Mione, it's ok to cry," a voice breathed in my ear. The scent of Ron's cologne overtook me, before the wind cleared it away, and I was left to smell only the dying pine trees mingled with imminent rain.

I continued to breathe slowly. A raindrop fell onto my forehead. Just one. A single raindrop. I opened my eyes. The casket was now perched over the gaping hole. I wanted to crawl under the lid and stay there, with him. I wanted to tell them to bury me alive with him, so I could be near him, always. I didn't want to go on living while he was not. It seemed pointless…

I felt a little hand hit my shoulder. I looked over to see Mattie staring intensely at me, as if to comfort me in some manner. I allowed a small to grace my face. More raindrops splattered to the ground. Mattie's face turned upwards, searching for the source of the sudden wet.

My smile widened. I knew I couldn't bury myself with him, as much as I wanted to. I had to keep going, for her. I was surprised by the haste in my decision. One minute I wanted to die with him, the next I knew I had to live, for her.

People were talking, but I wasn't listening. My eyes were fixed on the casket, wanting to savour every minute I had left. Raindrops fell more freely now, and, as the casket was lowered slowly into the ground, and my Duncan was laid to rest in the ground, the sky opened the water gates, and it poured. I watched as my husband disappeared into the hole and finally allowed a tear to fall, which quickly turned into more tears, and more, and more. I was bawling by the time they began to fill the hole. I felt an arm wrap around me, but I didn't care who it was. I let whoever it was hold me, and cried some more. As the people started to file out, I kept standing there, and the person holding me didn't move to pull me away. I vaguely registered a suit and flaming red hair, but not much else. My vision was too blurred.

The pouring of the dirt halted, and Duncan was gone. A million knives stabbed and twisted into my gut and my knees gave out. Ron caught me and held on. I sobbed into his shoulder. I no longer cared. Nobody was here, just me and Ron. I felt the emptiness of the loss grip me, and for the first time, I truly realized that Duncan was gone, and he was never coming back. (A/N: I know she's said it before, but this is the time she fully realizes exactly what it means.)

* * *

I cried a lot in the next few days. It seems that I did nothing but cry. I'm surprised that there are any tears left for me to shed, but they keep falling. I've decided to start packing up his things. I'm going to give them to Trish. I sure as hell don't want them.

* * *

I squeezed my eyes shut, before forcing them open and stepping into the room. Our room. I glanced at the bed, and tears stung my eyes. I shook my head profusely to clear them. I needed to do this.

I set down the boxes and garbage bags I'd brought with me. Ron, Harry, and Ginny think I'm moving too fast. I know I need to do this while I still can.

I approach the first obstacle: the bathroom. It's the least painful. All I have to do is sweep my arm over the counter and it'll land in one of the bags. It's all shaving cream and cologne. I have an odd impulse and grab the cologne, setting it aside.

I breathed a sigh of something close to relief as I tied up the black garbage bag, dropping it by the door. I picked up a box, moving over to the bedside table. I yanked open the drawer, pausing as I confronted my first major challenge. I swallowed, breathing evenly before reaching in and starting to pull out his things, placing them in the box. I continued in this fashion, removing everything I could. His crossword puzzle book, his numerous bookmarks, and stray papers, among other things. I faltered when I picked up his copy of the bible, before placing it in with the rest. I never was one for religion, and had no desire to keep it. Trish would probably appreciate it more than I ever could.

I finished up with the bedside table, moving onto the dresser. I opened the first drawer, having no problem emptying his socks and underwear into the box. I opened the next one and was confronted by his pyjamas. These were harder to put away. A few tears leaked out as I closed up the now full box.

As the rest of the dresser contained my clothing, I moved on to the jewellery box. I opened the lid, but immediately closed it again. There was no way I could get rid of any of that. It was too personal. His golden watch, chain, and wedding ring were placed inside in a small plastic bag. The police officer that had informed me of Duncan's death had given them to me. They were probably some of the few things I was going to keep.

I gnawed on my lip as I faced what was left: the closet. I squeezed my eyes shut, preventing tears from leaking through. I walked with measured steps to the closet, opening the door. I had to do this. I had to get rid of any reminders of him left. I couldn't constantly have him everywhere, but never truly see him. It was killing me, but it had to be done. The knives that had made their presence known at his funeral twisted around as I took in the sight of his clothing hanging neatly on the racks. My breath came in short gasps as I stepped into the smaller room and approached his side. I inhaled deeply, my nostrils were met with his scent. It swirled around me and I lost myself in it. I stayed there, standing and letting myself remember…

_"How much?" Hermione asked excitedly, looking around._

_"About 450 Canadian dollars per month." The landlord replied, looking her over. He was a young man, probably around her age, with brown hair and chocolate eyes. He wore jeans and a suit jacket over a black t-shirt. Casual, yet proper. He flashed her a smile. She noted that it was a very nice smile._

_"That's a really good deal, I'll take it!" She smiled excitedly._

_"Alright, but can I add one more thing?" He asked her. Her face fell. Here was the catch._

_"Depends…"_

_"You have dinner with me. Tomorrow night." He proposed._

_***_

_She heard a knock at the door and walked to get it. She smiled as she opened the door to see Duncan standing there with a pink rose in his hand. Pink roses were her favourite. She stood aside and let him enter the apartment, taking the rose as he held it out._

_"Thank you. Pink roses are my favourite. How'd you know?" She asked him, smelling it, then heading to the kitchen to find something to put it in. She didn't have a vase, so she used a tall glass instead. Duncan laughed as she filled the glass with water and stuck the rose in it._

_"Lucky guess. Nice vase. Very unique." He smirked._

_"Ha ha. I've only been here a week. You can't expect me to have everything."_

_"Well I can, I just can't expect to be right about it."_

***

_"Well… goodnight." Hermione said, looking around._

_"Goodnight." Duncan laughed softly as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "We should do this again sometime." Duncan added, as he walked away._

_"Yeah." Hermione agreed. "Yeah." She repeated softly as she turned and entered the apartment building._

_***_

_She sighed with relief and tried to catch her breath as the doctors checked over the baby._

_"Is it OK? Is it healthy? Is it a he or a she?" Hermione asked apprehensively._

_"It's OK Mione. Just relax." Duncan assured her from her left. He had been so supportive. He pushed her damp hair gently off of her forehead._

_After what felt like forever the doctors came over to them with her baby bundled in a white blanket. This was the only time Hermione would be relieved to hear the ear-splitting wail it emitted._

_"Congratulations, Miss. Granger. You've given birth to a healthy baby girl!" The doctor smiled, handing her the tiny bundle._

_Hermione's eyes welled with tears of joy as she gazed down at the little girl in her arms. Her little girl. Duncan sat beside her, the dutiful boyfriend he was._

_"So what are you going to name the little gal?" The doctor asked her, pen poised over the birth certificate._

_Hermione glanced over at Duncan in question. He looked surprised at her unasked question, and shook his head._

_"Duncan, I want you to be a part of this," she insisted._

_"No. It's not my place."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Of course."_

_"Alright then. But I still want your opinion. How about Mattie Marie?" Hermione asked._

_"Mattie's perfect." Duncan half-smiled._

_***_

_"Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you." He laughed softly as a confused expression crossed her face. She showed every sign of protesting, so he went on, "Just do it. I'm not going to tell you what it is and yes, I know you hate surprises but too bad. I have a feeling you're going to like this one." Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. She frowned as she heard Duncan take something out of his pants pocket. Then, he spoke softly._

_"You can open your eyes."_

_"Ok, but I don't se why yo-- Duncan? What's going on?" Hermione asked uncertainly. She had opened her eyes to reveal Duncan kneeling on the ground, a small velvet box clutched in his left hand. With his right hand he took her left. He looked extremely nervous._

_"Hermione, I thought I was doomed to be alone before I met you. I thought that love had given up. But then I saw you and I thought, I have to get to know her and so I sold you your apartment, and asked you out. And all the time I thought, this is too good to be true. But that's still the past. And we have to move on from the past, so now I'm down on one knee telling you that you are the most amazing woman I've ever known, and asking you if you'd consider giving me the honor of being my wife." He opened the box to reveal a beautiful white gold band with a medium sized diamond in the middle. It was beautiful._

_Hermione's jaw dropped. She just stared into his hopeful eyes in shock. She couldn't believe it. It seemed like just yesterday she was stepping off of the airplane and into her new life. Now Duncan was asking her to marry him._

_"Yes! Yes! Of course I'll marry you!" She said tearfully. Wiping at her eyes she watched him slide the ring onto her left ring finger with that beautiful smile plastered on his face._

_***_

_"I do," Hermione answered, a broad smile stretching across her face as she and Duncan placed rings on each other's hands and the guests smiled._

_"Alright, Duncan, you may now kiss your bride," the minister announced, and Duncan and Hermione kissed to applause. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honour to announce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Duncan Meyers!" The minister exclaimed as Hermione and Duncan turned to face the crowd of their friends. Everyone applauded some more as they walked back down the aisle, grinning like idiots. The others followed, and once they reached the tent, Duncan turned to Hermione, grinning._

***

I was jarred from my memories as my legs gave out from under me and I collapsed onto the floor of the closet, sobbing uncontrollably. This wasn't fair. I shouldn't have to be doing this. I should be blissfully happy, not miserable. The knives twisted and turned and stabbed over and over again as I wailed and sobbed. I loved him… but he was gone…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. School has kept me very very busy, so updates will be farther apart… I've also had to use my other computer to write this, and the computer's Word document thing is a bit screwed up so every time I went to write I'd have to change a million things so that I could read it and it was generally annoying, so a lot of times I just got annoyed and stopped before I started.**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The next three weeks were generally the same thing for me. I'd wake up on the couch, make myself some breakfast, and try not to cry. I knew he wouldn't want me to cry, but that was how I always seemed to end up…

I was getting better. Now, I only cried when I saw something that reminded me of him. That still meant I cried a lot, since we lived here together, but it was becoming less and less. Now that I was starting to overcome it though, I suddenly felt like I wanted to get pulled back in. I wanted to grieve for the rest of my life if it meant I'd never risk forgetting him…

I sighed, and cupped my hands around the steaming mug of coffee. Today felt different than the others. I didn't know what would happen, but it was going to be the start of another chapter. As sad as it was, I could feel this one ending. I knew I was moving pretty fast, but I'd cried a lot and realised that Duncan wouldn't want me to pine away after him, he'd want me to move on. I moistened my lips. Setting down the coffee mug, I was struck by an idea, although I wasn't sure.

I walked slowly up the stairs to the half-empty bedroom, retrieving a simple pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I threw them on in lieu of my pyjamas and grabbed my black coat on the way out the door. This was the first time I'd stepped outside in the past three weeks, having secluded myself from all reality again. I stopped for a few moments, just inhaling the sweet, fresh air, before proceeding to the car in the driveway. It was a simple blue sedan, a normal muggle car. I hadn't gotten a car when I'd arrived, and this was Duncan's. I stared at it for a split-second before deciding against it and starting to walk. The night was beautiful, and I was glad that I'd opted to walk.

* * *

I made my purchases, and exited the department store quite quickly. The bag in my hand seemed to weigh a little more with each step. Was I really going to do this?

On my way back by the car, I bit my lip, pausing to stare at it. I decided to give myself the next couple of days to think about it.

I unlocked the door to the house and stepped back inside. Hurrying to the counter, I pulled out the contents of the bag and set to work, scribbling on the signs. Afterwards, I went back out to the car, unlocked it, and stuck the signs in the windows facing either side of the street. I locked the car back up, before turning to the house. I didn't quite want to go back in yet, so I sat on the doorstep, enjoying the night. I actually think I may have smiled for the first time in a long time.

* * *

I closed my eyes, exhaling. I needed to make a decision. I knew this wasn't the kind of thing to be decided overnight, but I desperately needed a direction. I couldn't keep living in this constant state of limbo. I felt the odd compulsion to talk to Ginny, to sort this all out. I grabbed the phone off the cradle. I knew she and Harry had invested in a phone when they'd found out I was here, just in case. It would come in handy now.

"Gin? Hey, it's Hermione."

"Mione! How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Actually, I was wondering if we could talk? Do you have a minute?"

"Of course! What is it?"

"Well… I was thinking about…" And with that I launched into my tentative plan. Ginny was a bit confused as to how and why I'd come up with this, but told me that if I wanted it, she'd support me. She even asked Harry for his opinion. He thought it sounded like I was moving too fast. Typical Harry.

* * *

I was decided. It had taken me exactly three days to decide. With something this big, I probably should have taken more time to think it through, but I wanted to do this as quickly as possible, a clean break.

I decided I needed to arrange some meetings and get everything taken care of so that there were no loose ends. I bit my lip on the way out of the house as I looked at the For Sale signs I'd put in the car. I'd received a few calls already, and had established a minimum I'd accept.

I arrived at Trish's house and knocked softly. When she answered, she looked very surprised to see me.

"Hermione! Oh my gosh! How are you?" She was quick to engulf me in a giant hug.

"I'm… Trish, there's something I've got to tell you." I sighed; I was not looking forward to this part. Trish had become like a sister to me.

"Okay… Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine… It's just…" And so I told her.

"You're… You're what?" Trish sat in shell-shocked silence.

"I said I'm-"

"I know what you said! How could you do this? How could you just up and leave!"

"Trish, I know, it's a big step, but I need to do this. I need to get away from all of this."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Running away from your problems."

"I am not!"

"That's how you ended up here, wasn't it?"

I was silent.

"You had to run away from Ron so you moved here! Now you have to run away from Duncan so you-"

"I'm not running away! I just don't see any point in sticking around anymore… I don't have anything left for me here."

"What about me? Why won't you stay for me?"

"Trish…"

"No, don't. You want to go, so go. You clearly need this."

"Trish…"

"I said don't. You obviously don't care so just… just go."

"Trish…"

"GO!"

I recoiled in shock. Trish had never yelled at me before. I hadn't meant to hurt her. I was just doing what was best…

* * *

I walked back to the house in numb shock. I can't believe that Trish would act that way. She'd been the one to say I needed to move on. Well, I was moving on. She didn't like it, too bad. I hardly acknowledged the For Sale sign on the front lawn as I bypassed it on my way to the front door. I unlocked it and entered the house. Once inside, I was struck by and idea, and went to retrieve a pen and paper, along with an envelope. I sat down at the counter and began to write…

_Dear Trish,_

_I know you don't think I am doing what's right, but it's what is best for me. I can't stand to be here, constantly reminded of the life that saved me from a lifetime of depression. All of that is gone now. Nothing remains here, tying me to this place. I need to go now. It will be better for everyone if I left. I don't belong here any longer. I'm sorry if this hurt you, but it is true. You and your family deserve to finish grieving in peace. I am not a part of your family really, and I would only feel out of place. I truly belong where I am needed. And it's better for Mattie this way. Ron and I need to be close together in order to parent her correctly. That, and I wouldn't dare keep her away from Ron's parents. I'm already in their bad books as it is, I wouldn't want any more reason for them to hate me. I hope you realize that I really do care for you. Once again, I'm sorry that my actions have hurt you._

_Also, I am selling the house and the car. I'd like to put the money I get for both towards Devon and Kate's college fund. I'd like to know that I didn't just disappear from your lives. If you'd allow it, I'd love to come visit sometimes. If not, I completely understand. I hope in time you can come to forgive me for my sudden departure. And of course, I'd love for you to come visit me as well._

_Love Always,_

_Hermione _

I sighed as I fit the letter into the envelope, scribbled 'Trish' on the front, and popped by her mailbox and back to the kitchen quickly. Well, I'd tried. It was up to Trish now…

* * *

_I was just finishing making dinner, waiting for Duncan to come home. I mixed the salad and started in on the grilled chicken when the doorbell rang. I frowned. That was odd, I wasn't expecting anyone. Did he forget his keys or something? I wiped my hands on a towel, flicking off the stove burner and proceeding to the door. I opened it and frowned further seeing the uniformed officer on the other side._

_"Good evening, ma'am. Are you Mrs. Hermione Meyers?" he asked, his tone grave._

_"Yes, yes I am. How can I help you officer?"_

_"Mrs. Meyers… I'm sorry, but I come bearing some rather horrible news."_

_"What kind of news?" I was growing more and more worried as the seconds ticked by. What was going on here?_

_The officer shuffled his feet, refusing to look at me._

_"What is it?"_

_"Mrs. Meyers, I'm afraid to inform you, there's been an accident…"_

_I think my whole world had stopped before my eyes. I felt my head spinning out of control._

_"Wh-what?" I managed to choke out._

_"The… uh your husband was driving home from work and…uh… well there was a drunk driver… he was driving on the wrong side of the road… and Mr. Meyers was going around a corner, and didn't see him until it was too late… I'm so sorry!"_

_"Is he going to be okay?" I asked after processing the officer's words._

_"Ma'am… I'm so so sorry, but he didn't make it."_

_As the full weight of his words crashed down on me, I had to struggle for breath. I leaned against the doorframe for support and concentrated on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out._

_"Ma'am? Are you alright?"_

_"Ye-yes. I'm… I'm fine."_

_"I really am sorry. I hate doing this."_

_"So am I." And with that the officer turned back, leaving me standing in the doorway, my world crashing down around me…_

I shot up on the couch, drenched in a cold sweat, the nightmare still fresh in my mind. I'd thought that they had gone away…

* * *

I paced through the house, wondering where to go while the realtor showed it to the couple that was coming today. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. It had been a week since I'd made up my mind to sell the house, and this was the first couple to look at it since it had gone on the market. I wanted it gone as quickly as possible, so I'd said that anything that was over what Duncan had paid for it would be fine with me. I knew it had gone up in value, so it would cost more than he'd had to put into it. It was actually a beautiful house. It just reminded me of him way too much.

* * *

I opted to apparate to Ginny and Harry's for the day, they said that they'd call Ron and he'd bring Mattie along.

I smiled as I opened the door, but my smile quickly dropped once I saw that there were three, not two, people standing on the other side of the door.

"What is _he_ doing here?" I snapped, looking to Ron's guilty face.

"We were hanging out until Harry and Ginny called. I invited him along. They already know. I thought they'd have told you Mione," he answered.

"You act like you aren't happy to see me Granger…"

"Oh, trust me, I'm not, Malfoy."

I stepped aside reluctantly to let them all in, taking Mattie from Ron with a huge smile plastered on my face. Once they were all inside the room, I wrinkled my nose.

"Jeez Malfoy, don't you know how to put on cologne? You see, the point is to put on a subtle amount, not bathe in it," I smirked.

Ron and Malfoy both frowned, "What are you talking about Granger?"

"Yeah Mione, it's not that strong…" Ron agreed.

"Maybe you're just so used to it that you can't smell it like I can."

"Whatever you say…" Ron turned back to Malfoy, and the two basically ignored me.

I walked back to the kitchen, still holding Mattie.

"Mattie! How's my favourite little niece?" Ginny cooed.

"Ginny, why didn't you tell me that the prat would be here?"

Ginny looked up, "I didn't think it mattered?"

"Nice try."

"Okay, fine. I didn't want you to change your mind about coming. I haven't seen you in a while."

I smiled, rolling my eyes.

"So, I have some big news for you guys," I teased, knowing it would bug her until I decided to divulge my newly established secret.

"Really? What?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"I'll tell you once everyone's here. Meaning Harry and Ron."

"Draco has to be included in this too, you know."

"Since when are you on first name terms with Malfoy?" I wrinkled my nose. Was there something in the water?

Ginny bit her lip, "Sorry, but he really has changed…"

I sighed, rolling my eyes, "Not you too, Ginny…"

"Sorry?" she tried meekly.

"Whatever. Just get everyone together."

"Hey guys! Mione's got some news!" Ginny shouted.

Harry appeared behind Ginny a second later, wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiled, turning her head to peck her husband on the lips quickly. Ron and Draco appeared a second later, and Hermione took a deep breath, this was it. There was no going back after this.

"Guys… I've decided to move back to England."

* * *

**A/N: So I decided to stop writing there for this chapter, just because I don't want to have to delay this any longer. So tell me what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am SO sorry that it's been so long. I've been back for a bit now, but I've been at a standstill until I made a decision on an idea I had. It was the type of thing that had to be decided before I continued writing, so the decision is made, and here we go.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The room was silent.

"What?" Ginny asked, dumbfounded.

"I said-" I started, but was cut off.

"We heard what you said," Ron said.

"Mione, are you sure you want to come back here?" Ginny asked, stepping forward, "It's a big decision…"

"I've already thought it all out. I'm positive."

"Ok… if you're sure… we'll support you."

Everybody nodded their agreement and I smiled. That had gone smoothly.

* * *

I finished closing up the last box, stood, and took a final look around. I sighed, wiping my hands on my jeans.

"Wow, the place looks so empty…" A voice startled me from my wave of nostalgia.

"Trish! What are you doing here?" I asked, a broad smile stretching across my face.

"Came to say good-bye," She said, a half-smile breaking across her lips in response to mine, "I'm so sorry Mione. I guess it just took me by surprise, you leaving and all."

"It's ok Trish. I understand."

Trish took a few steps towards me as I took a few steps towards her. We embraced, before I stepped back and we said our final good-byes.

"Don't be a stranger. Come back and visit anytime you want."

"I'll try to. When I can get a flight and some time off."

"Oh, right, I forgot you're moving all the way back to England…"

We exchanged a few more sentiments before Trish departed and I cast another glance around the room before apparating back to the flat I rented in England.

I set the box down in the living room before going back one last time. I needed to get the stuff out of the attic before I could finally leave Canada behind me.

* * *

I waited outside Trish's front door with a few boxes. I figured she'd want the stuff contained in them. I had kept only two boxes of Duncan's things from the attic.

When Trish opened the door, her eyes widened in surprise, "Mione! I didn't expect you to still be here!"

"Yeah… I just wanted to uh… drop off some stuff."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so um… you can do whatever you want with it… I just don't need it around…"

"Right," Trish said, swallowing and looking at the ground.

"Oh, and there's a couple of my shirts in there too. They're getting to be too tight across the chest and we're about the same size, so I figured you might want them, something to remember me by."

"Thanks," Trish smiled sadly, before looking at one of the shirts, "Oh my gosh! I love this one! It's so cute! But... no... you love it... i can't take this..."

"Yes, you can. Like I said, it doesn't fit anyways."

"Well... As long as you're sure..."

"I'm positive."

We smiled at each other and hugged once more before I left, going back to the house for the final time. There was still one more thing I needed to do if I was going to go through with this move…

* * *

I opened the box that had remained sealed since my arrival to Canada. I bit my lip as I reached inside and pulled out the thin object that I hadn't held in my hand for over a year. I felt a smile stretch across my lips as the familiar sense of security engulfed me and any sense of feeling lost that I'd once had deserted me.

Warmth flooded through my fingers and tingled up my arm as wand and witch were reunited once more.

* * *

**A/N: I am very sorry it's so so short, but I really just wanted to end it there, and I didn't feel like making it all fluffy and crap. The next chapter will have more to it, I promise. And it will come pretty quick!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Told you it would be quick!!!!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

I blinked in the sunlight and my eyes flickered open to take in Harry and Ginny's living room. I had spent every night that week on their couch while I was looking for a flat of my own. They'd offered me the couch as long as I needed it, but I really didn't want to intrude. I'd found a couple of hopeful prospects and was going to speak with some people today about them.

I swung my feet over the edge of the brown couch and stretched my arms above my head, yawning. Ginny and Harry had already left for work, so I was on my own. That suited me just fine, because I didn't have them breathing down my neck to go to the doctors when I'd vomited yesterday morning. Sighing, I stood and made my way to the kitchen, grabbing the copy of the Daily Prophet on my way and pouring myself a cup of coffee. I remembered after I'd started pouring that I could have just as easily done it by magic, but I'd grown so accustomed to doing everything the muggle way that it felt unnatural and awkward to be doing things by magic.

I was ripped from my thoughts by a sudden wave of nausea at the smell of my coffee. I ran to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time.

After brushing my teeth to rid my mouth of all traces of vomit, I returned to the kitchen and poured my coffee down the sink, pouting all the while. If just the smell made me sick, I had no idea what actually drinking it would do. So, I grabbed a bagel out of the crisper and set it in the toaster while pouring myself some orange juice instead of the coffee. I sat at the table while waiting for the bagel and turned immediately through the Wanted adds. I felt pathetic, but it needed to be done. I'd contacted my old boss but he'd been less than accommodating. I guess once you take off on vacation and then send your notice once that time is up, there's really no going back… I really can't say that I blame him…

I sighed in frustration at the lack of jobs in the area. I had been looking all week but nothing had come up that I was qualified to do. I really wasn't qualified to do anything, by rights. I hadn't finished my seventh year at Hogwarts. Ginny was the only one in our group of friends that had, since she was in sixth year when the war was taking place. McGonagall had given Harry, Ron, and I honorary diplomas and our transcripts showed that we had completed the required seven years, but we all knew that we had not. Every other seventh year had had to go back the following year to finish up, but we were exempt for some reason. I'd tried to convince McGonagall to allow me to finish up with everyone else, but she'd refused so many times that I'd finally given up. She told me that she would give me the books if I so desired, but I didn't need to come back to learn it. She claimed that I'd been through enough, and I deserved a 'normal life', whatever that is. So I'd read the books and learned the curriculum, but I still felt as though I was behind everyone else. Like I didn't belong. It was the last thing that I'd wanted to be in life, but it was what I had ended up as. The girl who didn't fit in. The high school dropout that didn't know what she wanted in life. The lost little girl posing as a woman. I didn't belong here, I didn't belong anywhere. But I couldn't run away from it, not again. It wouldn't work. So I sat in Harry and Ginny's kitchen, overwhelmed by the feeling of being lost.

* * *

I stopped by Ron's on my way to the first meeting of the morning to see Mattie. I was taken aback when Malfoy answered the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I frowned.

"Watching your pipsqueak. I have to say, she's actually quite adorable, once you get past the fact that you're her mother…" He sneered.

My eyes widened in shock and fury. Ron had left Mattie with Malfoy and hadn't bothered to tell me?! How DARE he! Malfoy wasn't fit to watch a child, much less mine!

"What? It's not like I'm going to drop her on her head or anything. I am capable of caring for a child for a couple of hours."

"And how would you know if that's true? Mattie's probably your test run," I snapped.

Hurt flashed through Malfoy's eyes momentarily. It was so quick that I had to stop and think if it had even been there, or if I was just seeing things.

"Whatever Granger. If you want to come and check to make sure I didn't kill her or anything, just do it. Don't stand here and make assumptions about things you don't know anything about."

I was taken aback slightly by Malfoy's abrupt statement, but entered the flat nonetheless. As I entered Mattie's room, Malfoy leaned in the doorway behind me. He seemed to have calmed down, and I wondered why he'd been so angry before.

Mattie was peacefully taking a nap in what she called her big girl bed. She was so proud of it. She had grown up so much. It seemed like only yesterday when I was cradling her in my arms. I smiled softly. She'd already started to talk, and she was beginning her toilet training as well. So much had changed in the year and eight months since Mattie had been born.

I turned back to Malfoy, and swore I saw a flicker of sorrow in his eyes, but, like earlier, it disappeared before I could be sure that I'd seen it.

* * *

I apparated to the Leaky Cauldron for a quick lunch before deciding to try my luck in Diagon Alley searching for a job. I pressed my wand to the correct bricks before standing back to allow the arch to form. I walked into Diagon Alley and was surprised to not find it crowded with people. It seemed to be a slow day, but I didn't mind. I peeled off my sweater, suddenly feeling very warm, and proceeded through the narrow streets.

I smile when I saw the familiar sign of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. The next thing I knew, I found myself inside the shop. Before I could come to my senses and walk right back out the door, I heard a voice telling me that it's owner would be out in a second. Not wanting to seem rude, I waited until the figure of George appeared.

"Hermione? Wow, long time no see. What brings you here?" He asked, the shock of seeing me again registering on his face.

"Uh… I'm not really sure. I was looking for a job, and the next thing I knew, I was in your shop…"

"Oh, well it's good to see you after all this time."

"It is?" I asked, surprised that he would even be civil to me after what I did to Ron.

"Oh yes, very good. I've missed seeing your face around our table. You always could keep Ron in line. Now without you there he's just that unruly little brother again…" George laughed and I joined in.

"Yeah, well I moved back to England so I guess you'll see me around more often…"

"You moved back? Ron neglected to mention that… I would have figured he'd be jumping for joy. All he ever did when he came to visit was rant on and on about that Duncan fellow you married…"

"He did?"

"Yeah. So what ever happened with Duncan? I like him."

"You'd never met him…"

"I know. But he seemed like he annoyed Ron, so I like him."

I smiled despite the shift in conversation, "He… uh… actually he… he died. A month and a half ago."

"Oh Merlin, I'm sorry. I didn't know or else I wouldn't have brought I up. I just assumed because you're still wearing…" He trailed off, sensing that he should stop talking.

"No, no, it's fine. It gets easier to talk about after a while."

"Yeah… it's that way with Fred as well."

We shared a sad silence before George spoke again, "Well, if you're looking for a job, I could always use a hand. You know, until you find something better."

"Seriously? You'd give me a job?"

"Sure, why not? I mean, you're rumoured to be the brightest witch of your age, and that's got to be good for business, right?"

I smiled, shaking my head.

"Besides, it would be an interesting business, wouldn't it? Three Hogwarts dropouts working together to maintain a business?"

"Three?"

"Yeah, my only other employee, Hilda. She dropped out of Hogwarts shortly after her sixth year began."

"So you hired her, even though she didn't have a diploma?"

"I figured someone had to give her a break, and it doesn't exactly take a genius to sell stuff in a joke shop, does it?"

"I guess not."

"So will you work for me?"

"Maybe."

"Oh come on. Just until you can find something more concrete. Please?"

I rolled my eyes, "Fine."

"Thanks Hermione, you're a lifesaver! I was starting to get worried that Hilda and I might be overworked!" He smiled broadly, and I couldn't help but return it.

* * *

I popped into Harry and Ginny's flat after talking out all the details with George. While I was there I would manage inventory, stock, and money, while George invented new products, and Hilda sold these products. I had to say, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was extremely understaffed.

"So, did you find a job yet?" Ginny's voice came from the kitchen.

"Actually… I did."

"Really? Where at?"

"You're not going to believe this, but at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes," I answered, walking into the kitchen to find Harry and Ginny sitting across from each other at the kitchen table.

"Wait, but that's George's- Ohhh. Seriously?"

"Yeah, took me by surprise too."

"So you're working with George? How did you two even see each other again?" Harry joined the conversation.

"Well, I decided to look in Diagon Alley, just in case there was something there, and I randomly went into the shop, and then George and I got to talking… and he offered me a job."

"You're actually going to work in a joke shop?" Harry asked, obviously amused by the idea.

"Yes, just until I find something more permanent," I replied. Harry's smile grew. He was trying to keep himself from laughing, and was failing miserably. "Laugh all you want but at least I'm going to get off your couch."

"That's true. Thank Merlin for that. Has anyone ever told you that you snore? Loudly?"

"Harry!" Ginny scolded him while he laughed.

"Relax, I'm just kidding," He said.

"Sure you were," I said, joining them at the table.

"Coffee?" Ginny asked, waving her wand and summoning the pot.

I wrinkled my nose, "No thanks. I'm feeling a little queasy around coffee today."

Ginny frowned but said nothing as she motioned to the pot to fill Harry's mug.

"So, any plans for dinner tonight?" She asked casually.

I was immediately suspicious, "No… why?"

"Oh nothing really. Mum's just been after us to bring you to a family dinner…"

"No. No, no, no, no, no! I am not going over to your house to be the subject of glares and verbal abuse all night. No way."

"Oh come on Mione! It won't be that bad. I promise. I'll make sure that nobody says a word to you about anything. And this would really get Mum off our backs about not bringing you along to dinner… Please?"

"Gin, I don't want… I don't want to intrude, I don't belong there. Please, just let it be."

"But you do. You're the mother of my niece, and my mom's grandchild. You belong there as much and Fleur. Mum hated Fleur when she first started seeing Bill, but she warmed up to her, remember? It'll get better, but you have to take the first step to bridging the gap first…"

"Gee, thanks a ton Ginny. I so wanted your mother's hatred of me to be compared to her initial hatred of Fleur…"

"Well, it got better?" She tried.

I snorted, "Yeah after a million fights. I don't want to be in fights with your mother…"

"Well then you shouldn't have run away, lied, and hid things from us! Anything Mum throws at you is your fault, so deal with it!" Ginny yelled, pushing her chair back and stomping out of the kitchen. My jaw dropped and Harry calmly took another sip of coffee and turned the page of the Daily Prophet like nothing had happened.

* * *

So, after about an hour, I'd apologized to Ginny, and finally agreed to go to this dinner… Why did I always have to make the stupidest choices?

I inhaled deeply to calm myself, but it did no good whatsoever. I was so nervous I had to remind myself to breathe every few seconds so that I wouldn't die before I got to be murdered by the Weasley clan. I figured that I shouldn't rob them of that pleasure.

The door opened and I was extremely relieved to see George on the other side of it, and not Mr or Mrs Weasley. I wasn't ready to face them yet. I don't think I will ever be ready.

"Hermione! Glad you could make it," He smiled at me, and I felt a bit of the nerves wear off.

"Gee, George, good to see you too! And how have you been lately? Really that's great. Me? I've been pretty good too!" Ginny said sarcastically as she pushed George aside and entered the house, pulling Harry along with her.

I rolled my eyes, still smiling, before the nerves came back and I starting gnawing on my lip. George ushered me into The Burrow, and my heart started pounding once more.

"Don't worry. Ron, Ginny, Harry and I will be on the defensive. Not everybody here wants to pummel you," He spoke softly behind me.

"Really? There's a surprise," I replied, my voice wasn't as strong as I would have liked. I still didn't understand why I was here in the first place.

He chuckled quietly before guiding me through another door into the parlour. I held my breath, and was relived when neither of the Weasley parents were found on the other side. I did have to contend with Bill and Charlie though. This did not excite me too terribly.

"Hermione," Bill acknowledged me. His voice betrayed no emotion, so I had no clue if he was one of the members of the Kill Hermione Fan Club or not.

"Hi Bill," I responded tentatively. I saw Ron across the room talking with Harry about something and grew slightly more at ease than before, thought not very much. This was just like one of the family dinners I'd come to before everything had happened, except then I came as Ron's girlfriend, and someone actually welcomed. Now, I was just the mother of his child, and probably not welcome within ten feet of this place.

"Hello Hermione," Charlie greeted me. I sensed an underlying tone of kindness in his voice, so maybe he was staying neutral… I could only hope.

"Hi Charlie."

" 'Ermione! 'Ow 'ave you beeen?" The still heavily accented voice of Fleur rang through my ears.

"Um… alright, thanks. And you?" I asked, still unsure of what to do. George remained standing behind me, silently observing what was going on.

"I 'ave been magnifique!" She smiled widely at me, coming over and embracing me briefly. I assumed she wasn't part of the supporters of homicide.

Ron rose and casually made his way over to me, Harry trailing behind.

"Ginny finally convinced you to come huh?" He asked, somewhat amused.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, she finally did."

"More like forced really," Harry chimed in, smiling identically to Ron.

I rolled my eyes once more, "Whatever you say Harry. If I hadn't wanted to come, I wouldn't have."

"Sure you wouldn't have… I completely understand, you know. Ginny can force me to go almost anywhere."

"I wouldn't admit to that if I were you."

"You know she's right," Ron chortled.

Harry said nothing. Ron and I both laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ginny asked, approaching us from the kitchen.

"You've got Harry wrapped around your little finger don't you?" Ron asked his little sister.

"Of course I do. What self-respecting woman doesn't have her man wrapped around her finger?" She replied, putting her arm around Harry's shoulders, even though she was shorter than him, and standing on her tiptoes to peck his cheek. Ron and I looked at the ground, trying to contain snickers.

"Alright, enough making fun of me guys," Harry pouted.

I heard from across the room the voices of Charlie and Bill saying, "It's nice, seeing the Golden Quartet reunited. I've never seen Ron laugh so much," and, "I know, it's nice to see him so obviously happy again. I'm glad she came back."

Just then there was a knock at the door.

Ron laughed, "That'll be Drake."

"Wait, he's coming here?"

"No, he's just dropping off-"

"Right, we need to talk about who you are leaving our child in the care of later on," I informed him, remembering my anger from earlier that day. Ron sighed, and went to answer the door.

"Wait, what did we miss?" Harry asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"I went by Ron's before I started the job hunt today, and I found Malfoy watching Mattie," I supplied.

"So? He leaves her with him all the- I'm going to stop talking now." Harry clamped his mouth shut.

"Wise move."

After a minute or so, Ron re-entered the room with Mattie in tow. She'd started walking awhile ago, and was getting better every day. She could even run.

She displayed this run as soon as she saw me, crying out, "Mummy!" She hugged my knees as she collided with my legs.

"Hi sweetie!" I laughed as she released me.

The next thing she did was cry out, "Auntie Ginny!" And run to hug her too. And the same with Harry, Bill, Charlie, George, and Fleur.

Then Mattie was tugging on my hand and pulling me to the kitchen. I stared, horrified. I looked back at Ron, Harry, Ginny, and George for help. I knew that Mrs. Weasley was in the kitchen. I had no intentions of facing her yet. I was just starting to shake off most of the nerves.

"Mommy come on! I want you to meet Gramma!"

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun dun… and I save the confrontation for the next chapter… Anyways, I got a lot of laying foundation done in that chapter, and I hope to update soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I am so sorry, but I don't want to value of the writing (if its good, if not, nothing to lose) to go down any, so I'll wait until I'm in the mood to write before I do it so that this doesn't get jumbled. (I almost forgot about the cliff hanger I left…………. Wow………….. Go me!)**

**So thanks for the reviews! Let's not delay the catfight! Or maybe the cat hug… (okay, lame, I know…)**

**Chapter 9**

"Mommy come on! I want you to meet Gramma!" Mattie insisted, tugging at my hand more persistently. That's when the thought occurred to me. Mattie didn't think I'd ever met Mrs. Weasley. Great, this should make it more fun…

"Mattie, sweetie, why don't you go say hello to grandma yourself? Mommy can meet her later," Ron tried to save me, but it didn't work. Mattie insisted that I meet her now. I had to give in so that she wouldn't cause a bigger scene. My gut twisted and I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself, but it did nothing.

Mattie pulled me into the kitchen, and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Ron start to follow. This was not what I wanted to do right now…

"Gramma, Gramma!" Mattie yelled, pulling me along, oblivious to my obvious panic.

"Oh! Mattie, my sweetheart! Oh! Look at you! You're getting bigger every day!" Mrs. Weasley's voice rang out as she scooped Mattie up and kissed her cheek.

"Gramma! Gramma put me down!" Mattie giggled.

"Oh alright Sweetie-pie!" Mrs. Weasley hadn't spotted me yet, and I was glad. But that all came crashing down.

"Gramma, this is Mommy. Mommy, this is Gramma," She introduced us proudly, pointing to each of us as she said our names.

I gulped, "H-hi Mrs. Weasley. It's been awhile…"

Mrs. Weasley's face turned to stone and her lips pursed as she looked me over coldly, "It certainly has."

She made no move to slap me, so I figured that it would be okay if I tried to talk.

"Mrs. Weasley, please just hear me out. I know you must hate me for what I've done-"

"That's an understatement," she said coldly, looking me over once more.

"Alright Mum. That's enough. Let her have one last meal before you kill her," Ron interrupted, in a joking tone, but neither of us took it as such.

"Right. Ron, go get your sister. Tell her I need help in the kitchen. Might as well ask Harry as well. And I'm going to need you too," She said, turning back to the sink, "Hey Mattie, want to help Gramma?"

"Yeah!" My daughter cheered.

I sighed. I knew exactly what she was doing. Sure, she was doing it subtly, but she was doing it nonetheless. Luckily, she didn't know I had accepted a job with George, or he'd be in here helping her do stuff she could easily do single-handedly.

I sighed and retreated to the living room once more. George was sitting with Fleur, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. I laughed to myself before joining them.

"Hey! She's still alive!" George smiled as I approached.

"Barely," I said.

"Oh, 'tees not so baad," Fleur chimed in. "I should know. It 'as been a 'ard road to zee peece Missus Weezley and I now share."

"I really hoped to never be on the receiving end of one of her cold freezes again after the incident fourth year."

"What's she doing now?" George frowned.

"Oh not much, just keeping anyone she thinks has the least bit of sympathy for me in the kitchen to make dinner. Including my daughter."

George's frown deepened. I could tell he wanted to go talk to his mother, but I stopped him with my next words, "Let her. It's not going to bother me. Besides, I _do_ deserve it."

Fleur smiled broadly as Bill came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, "Dat's zee speeret 'Ermione!"

Now Bill frowned, "Is Mum giving you a hard time?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

Bill drew Fleur away soon after, leaving George and I alone.

"So... How are our books looking?"

"Well, I didn't realize how deep into debt you've really gotten yourself. But lets not talk about work." I said, knowing full well that Fred had been the one that managed the finances between the pair. As weird as it was, Fred was great with numbers. George had never had the same aptitude.

"Suits me."

We stood in a comfortable silence for a while until a pop sounded and Percy joined us. I already knew that Percy would despise me, so it didn't hurt when he greeted George before giving me a brief look and moving on. Percy had always been very strict.

"Dinner's ready," Harry appeared in the doorway suddenly.

"Oh great," I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes.

Mrs. Weasley had been very particular in how she wanted people to sit. Her goal was to isolate me, of course. Well, I wasn't about to go down without a fight.

I almost burst out laughing when I saw where everyone was seated. Mrs. Weasley had sat Harry, Ginny, and Ron at the end of the table beside her, while the seats beside them were filled by Bill and Charlie. Fleur sat beside Bill, while Percy sat to Charlie's left. There were two seats open beside Fleur, and George slipped into one of them, pulling my arm so I was seated in the other. I smiled at him in thanks, a smile he quickly returned. Mr. Weasley appeared at the doorway, and I realized with horror that he was going to sit right next to me.

"Hermione! Long time no see!" He exclaimed. I gulped. He looked happy enough.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. It's good to see you," I said, hoping my voice didn't waver.

A smile stretched across his face as he sat, "Entirely too good. You look well."

"Thank you, so do you."

Mrs. Weasley looked put out by her husband's lack of resentment towards me, but I didn't care. I was just glad that he didn't seem to hate me.

Just before dinner began, a flurry of black hair and green wool flew through the door.

"So sorry I'm late! Work just never stops! I had to fill out some paperwork before I left, and then Mr. Lennox made me stay longer to-" She stopped as soon as she caught sight of me, "Oh. Hello."

Percy stood and pecked her on the cheek, "Penelope, you remember Hermione."

She looked at me for a moment, "Oh, yes. Good to see you," She said stiffly, before sitting beside Percy.

"Likewise," I replied. I could tell that she'd heard the story, and wasn't about to like me.

Penelope Clearwater had always been like that, though. Always judgemental, never bothering to hear the other side of the story before jumping to conclusions.

Okay, maybe she had a right to in this case. My actions weren't exactly defensible. But I've learned from them. I know it was a mistake, and I know that I should never have done it, but I can't go back and change the past.

Mattie is sitting down the table beside Ron. I wanted to bring her to sit with me, but I didn't want to start something. I've already started enough. I really hope no one will bring it up.

Of course, that couldn't happen.

"So… Hermione. What have you been up to lately?" Mrs. Weasley asked in a sickly sweet tone that makes my stomach churn.

"I'm… uh… I'm looking for a flat and a job right now. Something more permanent."

"So you're planning on staying, then?" Her subtle words cut me, showing just how much my decisions have hurt everyone.

"Actually, Mrs. Weasley, I am. I realize that I can't run away from my problems anymore. I'm going to deal with it."

"So you consider this beautiful little girl to be a problem?" She asked, still using that same voice. I cringed. Not what I meant.

"Oh, no, Mrs. Weasley, I didn't mean that at all. I just…Now isn't really the time to explain this," I stuttered.

"Then tell me Hermione, when exactly is a great time to own up to your mistakes? When will it suit you?" She snapped, venom lacing her words.

"Mum, she's right. Now isn't the time," Ron said in a quiet voice.

I was glad that Ron was coming to my defence. I honestly don't know what I'd do if he wasn't there, and if we hadn't reached an understanding about the whole ordeal. We'd come to a sort of peace with it. Well, as much of a peace as you can get in this sort of situation. I know he still resents me, and he has every right to.

Mrs. Weasley said nothing more, but speared a piece of steak with her fork. She chewed angrily, and the table fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"So, Hermione," Charlie asked into the silence, "You said you were looking for something more permanent. What are you doing now?"

Nobody was offended by his question, for he sounded genuinely interested, not like Mrs. Weasley.

"Actually, I'm staying with Harry and Ginny at the moment, just until I can find a flat that I can afford," I answered, glancing at George to make sure it was alright with him that I revealed the next piece of information. He nodded slightly, so I continued, "And I'm working at George's shop temporarily."

Everyone around the table's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Really?" Percy asked. "We had no idea. George never mentioned it." He gave George a hard look.

"Well it just happened recently. I didn't see much point in telling anyone," George hastened to say.

The table was enveloped by silence once more, before Mrs. Weasley thought it was the opportune moment to speak again.

"Tell me, Hermione, where is this esteemed husband of yours? I've heard so much about him, it seems a shame not to meet him. You'd think a devoted husband such as him would attend dinner with his wife."

Ouch. I didn't think it would hurt so much to hear her talk about him. I'd been very good at blocking out the past until this moment. Before I knew it, memories began to pour back and I felt the room start to close in around me. I needed air. I pushed back my chair, my head spinning as I stood.

"Excuse me," I muttered, before leaving the room quickly.

I heard chairs scrape, and someone call my name, while someone else spoke quickly and angrily to Mrs. Weasley, who gasped. I knew whoever it was had just informed her of Duncan's fate. I could care less. I needed to breathe. I needed to push these memories back where they belonged, back where I couldn't find them.

I got outside, gulping in as much air as I could. Stumbling over to the large tree in the yard that still stood today, I suddenly felt sick. I bent over and hurled before I could stop it. I felt somebody pull my hair back and rub my back soothingly. Coughing and sputtering, tears streaming down my face, I started to sob, and couldn't stop. I couldn't hide from it anymore. It was real. I had to deal with it. These memories couldn't be compartmentalized and forgotten. I thought I'd dealt with it. I thought I'd gotten over it. I thought I was strong enough to handle it. Now, I had to face the facts. After a month and a half, I wasn't okay with it. I wasn't strong; I was weak. I was weak and I couldn't take it. I couldn't take that my husband was dead. I was a widow at 24. This wasn't where I had seen myself at any point during my life. 24 was far too young to be a widow.

What would my parents think if they could see me now? I was a mess. Ginny's arm wrapped around my shoulders as I backed away from the mess I had made. I pushed her arm away, not wanting comfort. I didn't want anyone's pity. That's why I didn't cry, why I locked everything away. I didn't want to be vulnerable. I didn't want to expose myself to anymore hurt than I'd already endured. I'd hoped that moving back here would get rid of it, would leave it behind, but it didn't. It followed me. I couldn't leave it behind.

I staggered away from Ginny, determined to escape it all. I heard her voice call out to me. It was so far away… Everything was so far away…

Harry's voice joined hers, and he held her back from running to me like I knew she wanted to. I was grateful to him. I couldn't bear the empty sympathy. She didn't know what it was like. She didn't understand…

Harry would understand, George would understand. Ginny didn't. Ron didn't. They hadn't lost someone they loved so completely. They hadn't lost a piece of themselves. Fred was George's other half, Harry had lost so many people in his life that it took too long to name them all. Ron and Ginny hadn't woken up in the middle of the night and looked beside them to realize that they were alone, and they would always be. They hadn't called out to someone, only to realize that they wouldn't answer. They hadn't looked up expectantly, only to find nobody there.

I tripped over something and fell to my knees. I felt no pain, but knew that I should have. I crumpled before their eyes. I couldn't stop it, and I felt ashamed at my lack of control. Sobs racked my body, and I was vaguely aware of somebody kneeling beside me. I feebly pushed my hand out at them, trying to get them to go away. I didn't want them to see me like this. I wasn't the one that broke down, I was the one that stayed strong. I was the one that comforted. I wasn't the one on the ground, crying an endless stream of tears. I was the one kneeling beside me, the one that tentatively reached out and engulfed me in their arms. I wasn't the one that succumbed to the need for comfort, and leaned into the embrace.

The tears kept flowing, and the arms tightened around me. It must have rained. The ground was wet, and my pants were covered in mud, but I didn't care. Then I realized it hadn't rain_ed_ it was rain_ing_. My hair was plastered to the sides of my face, and my clothes were soaked all the way through. Whoever it was beside me was soaked as well, I was sure, but they didn't seem to mind. I felt myself being moved. The next thing I knew, I was being pulled onto someone's lap. I curled into a ball, clinging to his shirt, breathing in his scent. I knew who it was now. I had thought he wouldn't understand, and wouldn't be able to offer me any form of comfort, but I had been wrong.

I don't know how long we sat there like that, me crying, him just sitting there, holding me, but he stirred, and started to rise. He carried me bridal style somewhere unknown to me. I felt warmth encircle me, and knew we must be in The Burrow. I could feel the eyes of almost everyone that had sat at the dinner table trained on me, but I was so exhausted I couldn't muster the energy to feel embarrassed. I was carried up the stairs, and placed in a bed that smelled like him. As soon as my head hit the pillow I fell asleep. I didn't feel the covers pulled up to my chin, or the soft kiss Ron left on my forehead.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open to harsh sunlight streaming through the curtains.

_Where am I?_ I thought, trying to sit up and look around.

"Hey, you're awake!" George smiled at me softly from the side of the bed. I smiled back shakily as it all started flooding back to me. "We were taking turns watching you."

"Really? Because I'm just that interesting?" I said, making a face. My voice was hoarse.

"You underestimate yourself. I can't speak for anyone else, but I've been riveted," He played along, a crooked smile tugging at his lips. I felt my own twitch upwards in a smile as well. He rose after a moment and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" The thought of him leaving me here alone was suddenly terrifying.

"To go alert the masses. It should give them peace of mind to know that you appear to be alright. Maybe they'll stop trying to kill each other…"

"Wait, what?"

"Harry, Ron, and Ginny have been making jabs at Mum all night. She feels terrible enough as it is… Although it _was_ uncalled for…"

"What do you mean, making jabs at her? Are they fighting over me? Because she had every right to say what she did."

George turned back toward me, frowning, "Why would she have any right to ask you that?"

"Well… I _did_ cheat on her son and then hide her grandchild from her for a year… I deserved it. And it's not like she knew he was..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Nobody deserves that kind of pain thrust in their face."

"Except me."

"Especially not you."

I rolled my eyes. It was a never-ending argument.

He almost made it out the door before I stopped him once more, "Wait! Don't you have to go in to work today?"

"I left it to Hilda. She's very capable. That, and I told her to close up early."

"What? Why would you do that?"

He raised his eyebrows slightly, "You're seriously asking me that?"

"Yes," I stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Laughing, he started for the door, muttering, "Only you, Hermione… Only you…"

I frowned once he left. I didn't know exactly what was so funny.

"Hermione! Thank Merlin you're alright!" Ginny squealed, rushing into the room.

"Why are you guys acting like this? It wasn't that big of a deal…" I bit my lip, studying the comforter, a blush rising to my cheeks. I hated the attention I was suddenly getting. It wasn't necessary, and it only reminded me of the events of last night.

She was saved from answering by Mrs. Weasley's entrance. I continued to stare at my fingers, which were playing with the blanket. However, as I caught sight of my left hand, I quickly averted my eyes.

"Can we have a moment?" Mrs. Weasley asked Ginny, Harry, and Ron. The two men had hung back while Ginny gently suffocated me. Now they both stepped slightly forward. Mrs Weasley seemed to ward them off with a look.

"It's alright, guys. We need to talk," I said, somewhat hesitantly.

After a moment, the three of them seemed to agree and left the room. I was alone with Mrs. Weasley. Great…

* * *

**A/N: And more intensity!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So here it is! Sorry it took longer than I thought… I'm going to address some issues in this chapter that I feel I have generally ignored up until this point.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

I took a deep breath, before breaking the silence that had stretched between us.

"Mrs. Weasley, I-"

"Alright Hermione. I'm going to talk and you're going to listen, okay?"

It wasn't a question.

"I understand that you were scared, and alone, but what you did was inexcusable! You should have stayed in England. We had a right to know that you were pregnant!"

"I know, but-"

"No, it's my turn. You can try to defend what you did after I'm finished," She cut me off curtly. Shaken, I only nodded.

"You knew that you were carrying my grandchild and you still ran away! What were you even thinking?! You think you did what was best, but what was best for that child was knowing us! She needed to have a father figure in her life!"

"She does!" I interrupted.

"Yes, _now_ she does. But where was her father during the first year of her life? You stole those precious firsts from my son, and I won't let you get away with it. He never got to see his daughter take her first steps, or say her first words! Nothing in a parent's life compares to those moments, and you took them away… Unforgivable!

"Now, I realize that Ginny, Harry, Ron and George have, for some insane reason that I can't understand for the life of me, managed to get past this, but I want you to know that I won't give you the same benefit. You won't get any sympathy from me."

"I'm not asking for any," I managed to get in, because Mrs. Weasley showed every sign of continuing.

"Really? You're not? Isn't that why you came last night? To see if everyone could forgive and forget? Well, I'm sorry, but it's not going to happen. You may have brainwashed Harry, Ginny, Ron, and George, but you won't have the chance to brainwash any of the rest of us. I'll make sure of it."

I wasn't used to seeing this side of Mrs. Weasley. I wasn't going to lie; it scared the crap out of me. Not saying that I didn't deserve this. I totally deserved this. She was right.

"Mrs. Weasley, aren't you being the tiniest bit hypocritical?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you seem to be able to forgive and forget with Harry and Ginny just fine. It seems to contradict what you've been preaching for the past five minutes."

"Your ability to brainwash my daughter and son-in-law is no fault of theirs."

I stayed silent. She did have a point. I lied and misled Harry and Ginny. I told them that I was trying to find Alan, when I really had no intention of doing so. I'd only been thinking of myself and trying to choose the option that was best for me. The option that was least complicated. I can't even begin to count the number of times that I'd thought about this, but Mrs. Weasley's words brought the entire thing back to the forefront of my mind. I'd considered her opinions before, but never had they hit home like they did when they actually came out of her mouth. She was making point after point, and she left me to wonder exactly why Harry and Ginny had even considered keeping my secret. If our positions had been reversed, I wasn't sure that I could have done the same. I wouldn't be able to bear keeping a secret of this magnitude. The only thing that could have kept me from spilling every last word was the hope that maybe I could spare Ron anymore pain by believing my lies about finding Alan.

"I think we're done here," Mrs. Weasley rose and started for the door, pausing with her hand on the knob, "It would please me if you wouldn't set foot in this house again. If you do, I'll be sure to make it very clear that you're not welcome. Somebody has to protect my son from you."

With that, Mrs. Weasley left, shutting the door much more forcefully than necessary. I felt tears stinging my eyes, but refused to let them fall. I deserved it. I deserved it.

It didn't make it hurt any less.

_______________________________________

A few minutes later, I got out of the bed, ran my hands over my rumpled clothing, my fingers through my hair, and slipped downstairs. The sight that greeted me brought a smile to my lips and I stopped just before coming into view in order to watch the red-head with his hands over his eyes.

"Ready? Peek-a-boo!" George exclaimed, pulling his hand back suddenly. I listened as Mattie laughed, delighted.

"Oh no! Where are you?" George asked, faking being worried, because his hands were back over his eyes.

"Wite hewre Uncul Geowrge!" Mattie giggled.

"I can't see you! Mattie, where'd you go?"

"I'm wite hewre!"

"Where?"

"Hewre!"

"Sorry, where?"

"Hewre!" Mattie cried again.

"Here?" George asked, reaching out blindly with one hand to swat at the air to the left of her, keeping the other across his eyes.

"Noooooooo!"

"Here?" He asked, moving to the right of her.

"Nooooooooooo!" She giggled.

"Then where?"

"Hewre!"

"I can't see you!"

Mattie laughed and giggled as she reached up and tugged at George's hand. He removed it from his eyes, and looked appropriately shocked as he took in Mattie's face.

"Found you!"

"Yay!" Mattie beamed.

"How did you do that?"

"Do wha?"

"Just appear like that? You're so smart! Already learning to apparate!"

With that, he started to tickle her sides. She squealed with laughter and tried in vain to get him to stop. I laughed as well, finally coming into view.

"Don't go giving her any ideas," I said.

George and Mattie's heads snapped up at my voice.

"Mommy!" Mattie screeched, running full speed ahead and wrapping her arms around my knees tightly.

"Mattie!" I exclaimed, just as happily.

Once she released my legs, I knelt in front of her on the floor.

"Did Daddy tell you why I was gone?"

"Daddy said you was sick!"

I nodded, "I was. But I feel much better now."

"Good!" Mattie grinned, and I smiled, scooping her up in my arms.

George took in the sight with a lopsided smile. I'd never realised that he had developed a small dimple. It suited him.

"Take the day off. I'll see you tomorrow," He said.

"No, I couldn't. You need me there."

"Please. Don't flatter yourself. We got along fine without you before, we can manage for a day."

I stuck my tongue out at him, but shrugged nonetheless. If he was really offering me a day off, what kind of person would I be to refuse it?

"Okay, you've convinced me."

"Yeah, I really had to try…"

"Of course you did. See you tomorrow George," I laughed, grabbing my purse, Mattie still in my arms. I cast a final look around the Burrow, and left for the last time.

----------------------------------------

At seven o'clock, I started the walk to Ron's flat to drop Mattie off. Since I was sleeping on a couch at the moment, we figured it was best for Mattie to sleep in an actual bed.

I rang the doorbell and heard the sound echo through the walls. The sight that greeted me upon opening the door took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting to see Draco Malfoy, wearing only a pair of denim jeans, blond hair tousled and messy, eyes glazed over as though he had just been sleeping. A thin layer of stubble coated his chin, and despite myself, I took a moment to consider how good he actually looked.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to… wake you…" I stuttered, maintaining my calm, cool demeanour in order to cover up my revelation, "What are you doing here?"

"Ron didn't tell you? I'm crashing here until I can get my own place."

"Your own place? Don't you already have one? And why are you crashing _here_? Don't you have somewhere else you can go?"

"It's not really any of your business, Granger."

"I think it is, since my child will be staying under the same roof as you."

"My personal business is my business. Shove off!" He snapped. I was taken aback.

"I- I'm-"

"Oh, don't bother. Just come in and drop the kid off," He still sounded angry.

"I can… I can bring her back later… when Ron's home…"

"What? You think I can't handle a kid? I _have_-" He stopped short suddenly.

"Have what?"

"Nothing."

"Seriously, what?"

"It's nothing. Put the kid to bed. I promise I won't let her get into the butterbeer while her parents aren't around," He said sarcastically.

I wanted to argue, but decided to put Mattie down before pressing him any further. Who knew what he would do if I pushed too far. We'd been cordial over the past weeks, and we'd even gotten to be a strange sort of acquaintances. Not quite friends, but not detesting each other. It felt different than it had at Hogwarts. He wasn't the same person. He'd changed. I found myself intrigued by this new person. Draco Malfoy had always been an enigma, but the mystery was only getting bigger the more I tried to delve into it.

Once Mattie was asleep, I went back out to the living room, hoping to grill him about what he'd meant, but he was gone, leaving only a note that said Ron would be back in a half hour, and I should feel free to wait.

Well what else was I supposed to do?!

* * *

The sound of keys in the door woke me from my doze. I had just been drifting off, but was glad that Ron was back. He certainly hadn't taken a half hour.

The door opened and in walked Ron.

"Well finally! I thought you were-" I stopped abruptly when I realised that he wasn't alone. He was pulling along a girl behind him. I froze.

"Hermione!" He exclaimed, surprised.

"_Hermione? _" The girl asked, incredulous.

It was then that I realised I recognized her. From Canada.

"_Hannah?!_"

**A/N: Alright, so just the last part changed, sine i forgot i wanted it changed.... I wanted it to go on longer than this, but that was a really good place to end it. You all remember Hannah Lennox, right? The one who was babysitting Mattie on the night of the wedding?? Well, she's back! I hope to have the next chapter up really quick!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Yeah so i definitely thought i uploaded this awhile ago.... its been written for at least a week or two.... i am SO sorry!**

**A/N: So here's an update. It took so much longer than I had hoped… Every time I sat down to write, I started stalling, and doing other things, and I'd get ideas, but by the time I started the computer up, I'd lost all my ambition… so I finally sat down and made myself do it. Here it is! I sincerely hope it's not a piece of crap or anything...**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

"What… What are you doing here?" I stuttered, taking in Ron's uneasy shift from one foot to the other.

"I could ask you the same thing…" It was not a cruel statement, merely one of surprise.

Ron looked a bit pale as he cleared his throat, "You two… Uh… already know each other, but… you don't know… you're both witches."

"You're a witch?!" Hannah and I asked at the exact same time.

"Yeah…" Ron shifted to the other foot in the silence, "Hermione, I haven't told anybody about this yet, but Hannah and I, we've been…seeing each other."

"Oh," Was all I could manage after he threw yet another curve ball at me. This was almost too much to comprehend at one time. Hannah was a witch and she was dating Ron…

Silence engulfed the three of us.

"Well, I should probably go… I was just dropping Mattie off."

"Right. See you," Ron looked relieved to see me leaving, and I couldn't say I blamed him. It would most definitely be awkward for me if I'd been in his position.

"Yeah. Nice to see you again Hannah," I choked out the polite farewell before making my way out the door, barely registering her similar response.

Ron is dating Hannah. I know that Ginny had told me he'd had a few girlfriends, nothing serious, but this one bugged me. Perhaps it was because this one had the potential to turn serious. It probably already was serious. It's not that I had any reason to be bothered by this. It was my fault in the first place that Ron was serious with Hannah. I was the one that cheated. I was the one that kept all those secrets, and brought him to Canada. Well, I really wasn't the one that brought him. Harry brought him, and Mattie kept him. All I did was manage to turn his life upside down and screw everything up.

I apparated back to Harry and Ginny's flat and sat on the couch for a moment, wondering how my life had come to this. I was so put together in Hogwarts, so organized and responsible… What happened to me? How did I go from the girl who had it all worked out to the girl that cheats on her boyfriend and gets herself kicked out, finds out she's pregnant, and runs to another country? How did I become the girl with nothing?

Enough self-pity. That definitely wasn't what Hermione Granger was about. She didn't sit and wallow in her pain and sorrow and the disaster that had become her life; she got up, went out, and tried to make the best she could out of it.

That in mind, I headed out to go find myself someplace to live, other than a couch. In all honesty, I hadn't been looking that hard until now. I had been in touch with some realtors, but hadn't actually gone to see any. I was too afraid.

I was going to change that. I couldn't let my fear of landlords and realtors prevent me from living my life. In all honesty, I felt more like I needed to confront this than hide from it. So what if Duncan is- was, a landlord? I'd need to see one at some point in my life. I could do this. Breathe. I could do this.

* * *

"Hello, my name is Hilda. You must be Hermione," A stern looking woman with her brown hair pulled back into an old-fashioned tight bun stuck out her hand and nodded severely at me. She reminded me of Professor McGonagall, but it seemed that this woman was completely cold and unwelcoming. It made me wonder how she ever sold any flats. It struck me that I was thinking about her success as a saleswoman, of all things, but I didn't try to stop it. This might be easier than I thought. She was the polar opposite of Duncan.

"Yes," I answered.

"Well, I've got some lovely single-bedrooms just waiting to be snapped up."

"Actually," I interjected, "I'd need something a bit larger. I have a daughter, you see."

"Then you'd need one for a family of… three?" She questioned, consulting her charts.

"Oh no. It would just be the two of us."

She turned away momentarily, pretending to inspect something on the other side of her desk while hiding her look of disapproval. Definitely old-fashioned.

"Right then. I have a few gorgeous three-bedrooms available. Shall we go take a look?"

"Um, sure."

She offered to take me to a few of the more affordable flats in the area I'd selected, and we were on our way.

After seeing the first two, I sincerely hoped the third was of much better quality. The previous flats had been dingy, dirty, and overall not a decent place for a child to be living.

As soon as I saw the door to the third and final flat, I knew it was going to be the one. The door looked new, unabused, and hinted that what it opened to would be clean.

And it was. It was better than the other two, and it most definitely had a homey feel to it. Looks like I'd be moving off the couch…

* * *

The next morning, I decided to go to the healer. I wasn't getting any better, and on top of that, my back was starting to hurt. There was something wrong, but I wasn't about to worry anyone. So, after Harry and Ginny had left for the morning, I quickly pulled on jeans and a t-shirt.

I called Ron's, barely surprised when Malfoy picked up. Unfortunately, Ron wasn't in, but apparently Malfoy had a clear schedule and would be pleased to baby-sit. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, but figured that Malfoy was better than dragging Mattie to the healer with me. It also was better then having to tell Ron where I was going.

Malfoy opened the door after I knocked and I brought Mattie inside along with a couple of toys she insisted on carrying with her at all times.

"Why don't we take your toys to your room, Sweetie?"

"OK!" Mattie bounded ahead of me towards the bedroom and I made sure she was alright before telling her I had to go and assuring her I would be back before she even knew I was gone.

I slipped out of the room, leaving the door open, to see Malfoy sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees, hands running through his hair. I frowned slightly, not used to seeing him act this vulnerable. He'd always had this wall up, presenting exactly what he wanted people to see, nothing more, nothing less. It was a refreshing take on him.

"What are you looking at?" He snapped suddenly, startling me from my thoughts, realizing that he had moved, and was now standing, staring at me.

"N-Nothing. I just… What's been going on with you lately?"

"Nothing," He said quietly, looking at the ground.

My eyebrows pulled together. Something was definitely going on with him. He was different, more so than usual. I couldn't believe it, but I was actually concerned for him.

"Something's going on, Malfoy."

"No, there's not. Leave it alone, Granger."

"Fine, if that's what you want."

"It is."

"Alright, I'll see you when I get back, I guess."

"Where else would I be?"

I walked to the door, but turned back suddenly, "Hey Malfoy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for watching her…"

"No problem. I'm… uh… I'm sorry I left like that yesterday…"

His apology startled me. The old Draco Malfoy wasn't one to apologize. "It's… uh… it's fine."

I opened the door, but was stopped by his voice, "Where are you going anyways?"

I took a deep breath, "To the hospital."

I knew he was frozen without looking.

"Is… Is everything okay?"

I was surprised he actually asked. I expected him to say 'whatever' and walk away.

"That's what I'm going to find out. I'll see you in a few hours."

I walked out the door, leaving him standing there.

* * *

I had to be careful not to run into Ginny while in the hospital, since she had become a Healer after Hogwarts.

"Um… Hermione Granger. I have an appointment with Healer Marie Angelo," I said while standing nervously in front of the desk, searching for any signs of my redheaded friend.

"Ah, yes. Here you are Miss. Granger. Just have a seat and we'll call you when it's your turn," the receptionist replied, smiling. I tried my best to smile back.

I sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs to wait. I had met with a couple of people about job offers over the past week, but hadn't found anything more substantial. I'd finally decided to just stick with Weasley's Wizard Wheezes for now. It's actually quite enjoyable. Sure, I've only worked a couple weeks, but I like it. George has been amazing, and I really couldn't ask for any more than what I have. I started moving into the flat yesterday, as the paperwork and transactions were all finished. I knew Harry and Ginny would be somewhat glad to see me go.

"Hermione Granger?"

I looked up at my name, standing and heading towards the hallway of offices with one last glance around for Ginny. Nowhere to be seen.

"Miss. Granger, please have a seat."

* * *

I left the hospital in shock after the examination. There was nothing obvious wrong with me, but she'd taken a blood sample and tested it quickly using one of the thousand medical spells known to wizards and came back with a definite diagnosis.

Fog clouded my mind, making it difficult for me to think clearly. What I had wanted so terribly three months prior was now the last thing I could have hoped for.

Without realizing it, I had ended up walking all the way to Ron's place from the hospital. I hadn't meant to walk, and I had probably been gone for far too long. I knocked, the sound of my fist on the wood hollow and vague. Time stretched on and it seemed like forever before the door was pulled back.

Draco's voice echoed towards my ears, and it took awhile to register that he was asking me what happened. I needed to tell someone. Someone who wouldn't judge. I knew that it had been moving pretty fast, but I had wanted to solidify my life with him so badly. I wanted to tie myself to him, prove my love. Maybe this wasn't the way to do it…

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out.

Draco's shock is clear on his face.

After a moment of silence, he seems to regain his composure, "It's not…It's not mine, is it?"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I've got some time off from work and I'm using it to update!!!!**

* * *

Confusion flitted across my mind and I scowled at him. Closing the gap between us I smack his arm as hard as I can.

"I'm being serious, you git!"

"Ow!" Malfoy winced, "You're right, I'm sorry. It wasn't funny. I was just-"

"Damn right it wasn't funny. Merlin, why did I even think you would take this seriously?"

"I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath, calming my anger, pushing it down.

"I- I don't know what I'm going to do, Malfoy. I don't know if I… If I want this…"

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know!" My voice rose and I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I couldn't understand why I was even considering any of the possibilities running through my mind. I was disgusted with myself for even entertaining the thoughts for the briefest of moments. I was trying to run away again. I couldn't. But I didn't want this…

Malfoy stayed quiet, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"I don't want to… I don't want this reminder… this constant reminder of what I did."

"What you did?"

"I ran away from my problems, Malfoy. I ran away from everything, into the arms of another man, and now I'm pregnant with his child and everything is a huge mess."

"How is it a mess?"

I froze with my hands over my stomach as the truth I'd tried so hard to push to the back of my mind broke to the surface.

"I- I- When I ran away, it wasn't to be cruel. I didn't know what else to do. I'd changed so much from what I thought I would be. I was trying to get my head screwed back on. I should have stayed in England. I don't know what possessed me to flee overseas. And then to lie like I did…" I took in the way Malfoy's stance changed. The way his shoulders tensed and his eyes narrowed. "There's no excuse for what I did. I'm not going to try to defend it because there is no way. I just… He couldn't stand the sight of me.

"I tried to tell myself a million times that Duncan was the better man. The best man I could hope for. I denied the truth. I'd jumped at the chance to lose myself and try to forget. I loved Duncan, I truly did. But I would never admit that I wasn't _in_ love with him. Because I never stopped loving Ron." I said it. The truth was out.

Malfoy pushed up from his relaxed stance angrily, "Then why in Merlin's name did you leave? Why did you get married? Why did you hide his child? You can say you didn't mean to be cruel, but the pain of losing a child comes as the result of nothing but!"

I sat in shocked silence as a fuming Malfoy took several deep breaths. So much for not judging.

"Draco…" My voice was quiet, gentle. His eyes snapped up to mine, not overlooking the fact that it was the first time I had called him by his proper name.

He held up a hand in silence, indicating that he was fine.

"You're right, Granger. You can't defend what you did. It was unconscionable."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but the sound of my daughter waking disrupted my train of thought. I hurried into her room, leaving Malfoy where he stood. I had the distinct feeling that this was more than just him sticking up for a friend. It seemed too personal to me.

And so the mystery deepened and more layers grew on the ones already there. Ginny had been right, Malfoy had changed. The only question remaining to me right now was what had changed him.

* * *

I picked up the last few boxes from Harry and Ginny's on my way home with Mattie. Not that I'd had a whole lot of stuff there to begin with, but what I did have was stored in one of the hall closets. Ginny was sitting at the kitchen table when I came in and immediately looked up from the book she was reading.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Auntie Ginny!" Mattie cried, running to give Ginny a huge hug.

"So… I just came back for the last couple boxes. Bet you're glad to be rid of me huh?" I asked, smiling.

"Never. But I'm glad you're getting yourself back on your feet."

We both smiled as we gripped each other in a tight embrace before I retrieved the boxes and paused at the front door. I wanted to tell her, I really did. It just wasn't the right time. I would, of course, tell her as soon as I could, because this time there would be no secrets and no lies. I wouldn't run away.

* * *

The next day I started to unpack the boxes and turn the flat into an actual home. I just bent to retrieve the few plates I owned when a knock sounded on the door.

I frowned and moved to answer it. Mattie was sleeping in her bedroom, and I wasn't expecting anyone.

"Ginny? Harry? George? What are you guys doing here?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"Just coming to help a friend move in to her new home!" Ginny grinned.

"Don't you guys have something you'd rather do? Like work?"

"Work is overrated," George said flippantly.

I rolled my eyes, smiling as I moved back to let them through.

"Thanks, you guys, but you really don't have to do this."

"Yes, we do. We've all been much too focussed on work for way too long."

"I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time believing that George has been too focussed."

"Hey, why start now?" He shrugged and we all laughed.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with much needed laughter and relaxation. With the extra help, I didn't need to worry about overexerting myself.

"To think, we might not have been here all day if Malfoy hadn't told us we work too hard…" Ginny sighed.

I frowned in confusion, "Malfoy convinced you to come?"

"Well, he convinced us to come early. We were planning on getting here later in the afternoon, but he told us we all needed to take a day off."

"Yeah, he almost sounded concerned about you unpacking all this stuff alone…" George shuddered at the thought of a concerned Malfoy. He seemed to still be on the list of the masses of people that still disliked Malfoy. As sad as it was, my resolve to remain on that list as well was quickly fading. I couldn't muster enough hatred of the man anymore.

"Speaking of Malfoy, he's been acting a bit strange lately…" I broached the topic carefully.

"More than usual, you mean?" George asked.

I rolled my eyes with only a twinge of humour, "I'm serious. He's been…I can't explain it. Do you guys have any idea what's going on with him?"

"Nope. Haven't a clue," Ginny answered. I could tell none of them really cared either, so I let it drop. But I couldn't stop the nagging concern in the back of my head, the instinct that there was more to this than Malfoy would voluntarily tell anyone.

* * *

**A/N: K, so I wanted it longer, but I decided to post it!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took, like, forever....**

**But I have made plans! I'm excited with where this is going, but I'm still not entirely sure of a lot of things. Hopefully I can sort them out sooner rather than later, but some pretty big decisions as to the fate of this fic have been made! I'm planning on no more than 10 more chapters, plus an epilogue, although I've had the epilogue planned and pretty much written (with a few blanks) in my head since I started writing the story… I have planned exactly where this will end up so that it all works out nicely (hopefully) and I'm pretty excited about it, I have to say. I really really hope it's believable! I'm going to be dabbling in some different points of view, including Ron and *gasp* Malfoy! So now I honestly have been meaning to get around to the whole Hermione's parents and house thing, and it will hopefully be addressed in the next chapter. I'm trying to speed things up because I've been dragging a lot. **

**And for the beginning of this, I just need to remind you that when Mrs. Weasley brought up Duncan at that dinner and Hermione had her big freak-out, she thought that Ron and Ginny wouldn't understand her loss because:**

'They hadn't lost someone they loved so completely. They hadn't lost a piece of themselves. Fred was George's other half, Harry had lost so many people in his life that it took too long to name them all. Ron and Ginny hadn't woken up in the middle of the night and looked beside them to realize that they were alone, and they would always be. They hadn't called out to someone, only to realize that they wouldn't answer. They hadn't looked up expectantly, only to find nobody there.'

**So now, if you actually read all that… enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

**(Guess what? We get to open up in Ron's POV!)**

I arrived home once again to an empty flat. It's been like this for a bit now. Ever since Hermione came back, Drake's been gone a lot more than usual. I'm not sure what's going on, and I'm not sure if I want to know. Of course, I know there's nothing going on between the two of them- they're just way too different- but it still makes me wonder what he does all the time now that he didn't do before. Drake and I have been friends for a little over a year; around the same time as Hermione left, I met him in a bar.

_I slipped onto a barstool in some random Muggle bar, hoping to drown out all memory of Hermione. She was gone, she left. I was always going to wake up alone, she wasn't going to answer when I called out for her or asked her a question. I felt empty, hollow. Yes, she cheated on me, and yes, I was mad as hell, but that didn't stop it from hurting. Contrary to popular belief, anger didn't burn away the hurt, it only made it flare larger than before._

"_Whiskey," I told the bartender. It was the only Muggle drink I could remember the name of. George had told me it was a horrid concoction that burned when you drank it. I wanted something like that. _

_I couldn't go to any wizard bar. People would find me there. I didn't want empty sympathy and angry words; they didn't help the pain go away. I would be fine with this whole disappearing act if she'd just told me that she was alright, if she'd let me know she was alive. I still loved her, as sad as it was. I twirled the engagement ring between my index finger and thumb. It was beautiful. White gold with a small diamond set into it. It wasn't much, but I knew that Hermione liked simpler things, rather than large, extravagant jewellery. I had been sure she'd love it, and she had. She just hadn't given me the answer I'd expected. _

'_I cheated on you' isn't exactly the answer one expects when proposing to the love of his life. _

_Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice the blond-haired figure sliding onto the seat next to me until he spoke, "What are you doing in here, of all places, Weasley?"_

_I gulped whiskey and felt the burn George talked about. It was a good burn; I savoured it._

"_Same thing you are, I suppose," I answered thickly._

"_What in your perfect little life could possibly be so horrible that you have to resort to a Muggle dive bar to forget it?"_

"_You'd be surprised," I answered monotonously, draining the rest of my glass and signalling for another._

Over the next few months, we met in the same bar in the same stools and drank the same drinks-whiskey for me, scotch for him-until it just became routine. We never agreed on it, it just started happening. It was better to have someone to drink with rather than doing it alone. At the end of the night, the bartender always offered to call us a cab, and we always refused, retreating into a dark alleyway to apparate to our respective homes, if that's what they could be called.

Throughout the course of our drinking, we started gradually telling each other what had happened, obviously thinking the other wouldn't remember it in the morning, both half-hoping that maybe once the words were spoken aloud they would leave our minds and fall into the air between us, to uncomprehending ears, and maybe we would forget, too.

After a month, Drake knew my entire story, and I knew his. His wife had had an affair, and in the aftermath, she'd taken almost everything and left him. He'd gotten only the house-a reminder of a life he no longer had- and half the gold he'd earned over the two years they'd been married, a year of which she had been unfaithful. She'd married the bloke she cheated with, and pooled the considerable fortune she'd snatched in the divorce with the already large pile of gold in his Gringott's vault, and decided that it was time for an early retirement. Last he heard, they were embarking on sailing a Muggle boat around the world, although boat may not be the best word for it. Cruise ship more likely.

We both had pretty pathetic stories, and I guess that was what bonded us, in a way. We were both victims of affairs.

"_I just don't understand, y'know? I don't get what was so bad 'bout us that she had to cheat like that…I thought we were fine… Merlin, I proposed to her! She can't say she was drunk, and that was it, 'cause we all know it wasn't. There had to be some part o' her that wanted to get out of it, or she wouldn'ta done it in the first place," I slurred, half-buzzed already._

_Beside me, Drake nodded slowly, "I get it, man. I mean, I remember the two of ya back in Hogwarts. You were always at each other's throats, but there was a spark, a fire between y'all. I never had that…And to just throw it away like tha'? She'd have to be crazy."_

_We lapsed into silence, each lost in our own thoughts. _

Pretty soon, Drake was running into trouble with finances. He'd lost his job in the immediate aftermath of the divorce, something about bad publicity for the magical law firm he worked for. He sold the house, moved into a smaller flat, eventually progressing to the point where we were living together. There was an unspoken agreement between us that nothing would be said about our disastrous relationships while sober.

I headed into the kitchen, grabbed a butterbeer, and sat at the table with the Daily Prophet. I flipped the pages mindlessly, reading headlines, but finding nothing interesting enough to read, until the last page.

**WIFE OF MINSTRY OFFICIAL FOUND ALIVE**

I stared at the headline before reading on into the story. What it basically boiled down to was that a man and his wife had gotten in a fight, she'd left, and didn't come back for a week. She'd been staying at a muggle hotel because she needed 'time to think'. I scoffed.

_I slammed the door to the Burrow behind me as I entered, startling whoever was sitting on the couch. It was Mum. _

"_Ron!" she exclaimed, clamping her hand over her heart and breathing deeply, "What in Merlin's name are you doing here at this hour?"_

_I stumbled through into the living room as a look of comprehension crossed my mother's face._

"_Ronald Weasley, are you drunk?" She demanded._

"_Wha's it madder?" I slurred, looking at her through heavily lidded eyes. _

_She set her jaw in a firm line, "Alright, Ronald. You need to go home. I'm sure Hermione-"_

"_What? You're sure 'Ermione'll be worried? Kinda hard when I dunno where she is!"_

_Mum's eye widened, "What? Ronald, what's going on?"_

" '_S over, Mum. We're over. I ditched her."_

"_What? Why?" She asked, stricken._

"_She cheated on me! With some bloke from a god damn bar!"_

_I was pretty sure that Mum might've had a minor stroke just then._

"_Ron… There- There must be some mistake. Hermione wouldn't-"_

"_Oh yes she would. She did! I got down on m'knee and she tells me she cheated…"_

"_Oh, Ron!" She hurried over to me, flinging her arms around me in a hug only mothers can give as I finally broke down into sobs._

The first month after her disappearance was the hardest. The not knowing but still caring nearly killed me. After that first little bit, though, I started to desensitize. I found a few women in the bar and took them home, trying to forget. Drake was the one to pull me out of that, saying he'd already tried, and it didn't help. So I did the next logical thing, I cut myself off. I stopped caring.

Ginny was royally pissed at me for giving up like I did. She never stopped hoping. Then one day, her attitude changed. Her forehead wasn't permanently creased with worry. She seemed… happy. Gradually, I sensed her becoming guarded with me, and then all of the sudden, Harry was the same way, but just as quickly he was telling me that he needed a place to stay, that he and Ginny needed time apart. I'd thought that was all, that they were guarded because they were fighting, having problems. Maybe they were so tense because of their failed attempts at pregnancy. Ginny had had three false alarms in the four months they'd been trying. I convinced myself that was it, until Hermione showed back up. That was a shock and a half.

"_I still think you need to tell Ron," Harry's voice was such a mixture of different emotions it was hard to discern them all. I was immediately confused. _

"_Tell me what?" I asked, announcing my presence, before noticing the other occupants of the room._

_I couldn't believe my eyes. Hermione was alive, standing in Ginny and Harry's flat. Hermione had been fine. Ginny had known. I knew Ginny had known. She had to know, there was no other explanation for her abrupt change. She had found Hermione to be alive and didn't tell me._

Her being engaged was much more than I'd expected. Maybe tentatively seeing someone, but married? Obviously she hadn't been as heartbroken as me. Or maybe she was trying my approach: forgetting. Whatever she was doing, it worked.

Next thing I knew, Harry was telling me we had to go see her, because it was her wedding day. I was confused as to why I needed to go, but the look on Harry's face made me think better of arguing.

"_Ron, just trust me."_

_I nodded and he took me by slide-a-long apparition to the wedding hall. _

_It wasn't what I expected, seeing her in her wedding gown, kissing another man. It hurt much more than I was prepared for, seeing her promising her life to someone who wasn't me._

_I couldn't help myself. After she'd told me to leave, I stayed behind. Just to watch. Only for a second. I wanted to see her, to see that she was truly happy. I saw the look in her eyes, the way they lit up as she spotted someone. I assumed it was her new husband, and started to turn away until a flash of red hair caught my eye. I whipped back around to see the little girl wrapped in Hermione's arms. My head exploded._

It had been a shock and a half to find that I had a daughter she'd kept from me. Ginny had known. Harry had known. They'd known I'd had a daughter and didn't tell me. I was beyond livid when the paternity test came back, proving that she was mine. She'd robbed me of a year with my daughter.

I'd expected Drake to be one hundred percent with me on the court case, and of course, he was. He was livid when I told him, but once Hermione moved back, I could see him softening, just as I had. It unnerved me to see someone so resolved in his decisions as Drake to change his mind.

My peace and quiet was interrupted by the insistent ringing of the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey stranger."

I felt a bit of a smile tug at my lips. It was Hannah.

_In my hurry to get to work, I knocked into some unknowing woman. _

"_Merlin, I'm sorry," I apologized, half-sincere, half-hoping for her to snap at me to get on with wherever I was going in such a hurry. _

_When she looked up, I recognized her at once. She was the one from the wedding, the one that told me who my daughter was._

"What has you calling so late?" I asked, the faint smile still on my face.

"Late? It's eight o'clock Ron…"

This shocked me. I'd been sitting and staring at the article for so long, I'd assumed it was much later than it really was.

"Alright then…" Hannah responded to my stunned silence, a hint of apprehension in her voice.

"I…er…didn't realize the time."

She seemed to accept this and the conversation moved along easily, like our conversations often did. Hannah was… well Hannah was exactly what I needed at this point in my life. She was loving, caring, stable. She was everything… She was everything Hermione used to be.

"_Hermione Granger… You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you with all of my heart. You make me angry, frustrated, sad, and so unbelievably happy. No one else can be what you are to me. So I guess what I really want to say is… will you marry me?"_

"_Ron…I…I don't know what to say…"_

"_Yes would be the response I'm hoping for…"_

"_I…I…I'm so sorry!"_

"_What? Why?"_

"_I… I cheated on you!"_

Even thought things have been great with Hannah, I've sensed a thin layer of tension between us since Hermione came back. I think it's because I just neglected to mention that Hermione's a witch, and well, maybe it has more to do with the fact that I didn't tell Hermione that I've been seeing her.

Although that really shouldn't bug her. I've been seeing Hannah for a good two months now. We weren't exactly an openly dating couple. We hadn't brought it into the open at work or anything. I'd only just told my family.

"_Ron, pass the marmalade," Ginny requested._

_I passed the jar of orange spread over the table to her and sat contented to listen as the conversation idled. It was nice to listen to senseless jabber. _

"_So, Ron, how's our little girl doing?" Mum asked, her eyes sparkling._

"_She's good, she's good. Getting bigger every day."_

_Everybody spent the next few minutes gushing over my daughter. I didn't mind; Mattie was one of my favourite subjects. _

_As the conversation died out, the entire table ate in silence for a couple of minutes._

"_You know, Ron, Zelda Hirsch's daughter, Rayleen, just came back to London. You remember Zelda Hirsch. She used to live in the village, we brought her casseroles once a week."_

_I rolled my eyes. I remembered Zelda Hirsch. Batty old woman, she was. Always going on about the end of the world and such. _

"_Mum, I really don't need you setting me up with anyone. I'm perfectly fine as I am."_

"_Oh come on. Just one date. What will it hurt?"_

"_Mum, I don't need you butting in. I can get a date on my own."_

"_I didn't say you couldn't. I was just trying to help. You can't just be all alone. You need someone in your life. You need love."_

"_You know what? I don't need any help, Mum! I'm not a complete loser. I can get a girl if I want one. In fact, I already have one!"_

_This stunned her into silence._

"_You… You do? You're seeing someone?"_

"_Yes, Mum, I am."_

"_Oh, that's just brilliant Ron! Why didn't you say something sooner?"_

"_Because I didn't want anyone interfering! I wanted it to develop on its own, not with you lot pushing it along and scaring her off."_

_Angry for little reason, I pushed my chair back and stormed from the Burrow._

"Ron? Ron?"

"What? Oh, sorry Han. I guess I'm just not really with it."

"Yeah… I kind of guessed that. Long day?"

"The longest. Mundungus Fletcher decided to return to the world of crime. I still can't believe he keeps getting off. What they need at that firm is someone like Drake. He'd get a conviction, no technicalities about it."

"I completely agree. Mundungus is a menace. He's going to expose us yet," Hannah replied. Hannah worked in Muggle Relations. Mundungus was a huge liability for the wizarding world.

"Well, I really should be going to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye!"

As I clicked the phone off, the smile lingered on my lips.

* * *

**A/N: So I really really love this chapter. It's honestly my favourite one so far! Please let me know what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I am SO sorry it took so long. I've had NO free time with school and work and such…**

**So I'm hoping this will speed along nicely and not be sidetracked or unbelievable or anything. This one will be back in Hermione's point of view, but I'm thinking Draco will either be the next chapter or the one after that. Definitely not any later than that though!**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

I stared at the ceiling of my new flat from my position on my back. My hands slid along the stark white sheets, moving to lay flat against my stomach. I noticed vaguely that it was starting to round.

I'm going to have a baby. Duncan's baby. I'm going to have another child.

I wish I could say I didn't love this child at all; I wish I could say this was a mistake, but I can't bring myself to feel that way. I love this baby, and I can't pretend I don't.

I need to tell everyone. No hiding anything. I can't just disappear. None of that.

The sound of Mattie waking in the next room was enough to pull me from my thoughts. Rising, I prepared myself for another day.

I brought Mattie with me to Harry and Ginny's before heading to drop her off at the day care Ron and I had agreed upon. Looking at the two of them sitting across their kitchen table, sharing sections of the Daily Prophet and sipping coffee. I couldn't help but think that it could have been Ron and I doing that exact same thing, if only I hadn't been such a…

"Morning!" I called brightly.

Their heads jerked up and welcomed me with smiles.

I started to tell them, but suddenly realized it was much too soon. The morning was so perfect, fresh, untarnished. I couldn't ruin it.

"_Good morning, my love."_

_I rolled my eyes, "You're such a cheese."_

"_But I'm your cheese."_

_Failing suppress a smile, I agreed._

I blinked in surprise, regaining my bearings.

"Hermione?" Ginny asked.

Shaking my head slightly, I focussed on the scene before me, instead of the past.

"Sorry. Guess I spaced out…"

I dropped Mattie off at the day care with only a moment of hesitation. I hated leaving my child in the care of someone else. I always criticized parents who hired nannies and never really saw their children, but now I saw the practicality of having care facilities. Both Ron and I spent long hours at work during the day, and having a child with us just wasn't an option.

Apparating into the back office, I startled George from his work.

"What's this? George Weasley actually doing work?" I teased, although I knew George was one of the hardest working people I'd met.

He grinned cheekily at me, "You bet. Once in a lifetime opportunity, that was. Better enjoy it."

"Why don't you hate me?" I asked bluntly, watching his face sober.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at what I did. I was selfish, and wrong. I stole how much from your entire family, and yet you give me a job, joke with me. If you hate me at all, you keep it well hidden…"

George's face looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I've never really… I've never really been a big believer in dwelling on the past. What happens, happens. No way to change it. Same applies to you. Can't change what you did, but you seem to regret what you did. Unless you're just a really good actress.

"Besides, I figure Mum's making you pay enough for all of us."

I scoffed lightly, muttering, "Not nearly enough."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

The day passed relatively quickly in light of what I had planned after I got off work. I planned to return to my parents' house, just to check up on it. I figured it was about time that I took care of it, seeing as it was a perfectly inhabitable house. Maybe some family could be happy living in it; as happy as _we_ had been.

I glanced at the clock, seeing that it was almost two.

"Hey, George?" I asked.

"Yes, Hermione?" He returned, imitating my tone.

"I was wondering… would you be completely distraught and fire me if I asked to leave a little early today? I have to check into a few things before the offices close."

George looked surprised, but agreed to my request.

And so I set off, passing through Diagon Alley and surveying how much it had recovered from its darker days. Candy shops and the familiar school supply stores were booming with business. A little girl begged her father for an ice cream cone while a teenage boy apologized profusely to his mother for losing his cauldron. I smiled brightly at Ollivander's, once again up and running.

Once in the Leaky Cauldron, I stopped by the bar to get a salad before I departed. Maybe I'm just weird while pregnant; I crave salad, of all things. While eating, I was taken by surprise as Draco dropped into the stool next to mine.

"Granger. Didn't expect to find you here. Shouldn't you be working?"

"I could ask you the same question," I replied.

We sat in silence for a moment before I finally broke it. "I have to take care of a few things so George let me go early."

"Things to do with…" He trailed off, indicating my stomach. I was having a much harder time concealing it than I used to.

I nodded, "Among other things. Nothing too demanding. Just some paperwork."

He nodded, then waved to Tom and ordered a beer.

"A bit early to be drinking, isn't it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's five o'clock somewhere."

I said nothing more and we lapsed into silence until I finished my salad. There was no need to say anything.

"Well, I should be going. I'll, uh, I'll see you later Malfoy," I told him, standing up. He nodded slightly without really looking at me, content with drinking whatever was bothering him away.

I paused at the door to the Leaky Cauldron and turned back to study the man sitting at the bar. There was something almost dependant in the way he held the glass of alcohol in his hand; like he needed it to function. His eyes were ringed in dark purple and his hair was unkempt. Suddenly, the word to describe him popped into my head and I realized it was exactly how he looked. _Broken._ The only question was what had broken him.

* * *

**A/N: Well…. That was so short for such a long wait. I'm starting to get all these ideas for this again and wanting to continue with it so here's to me trying! I'm so sorry it took me a half a year to update… it was like that with all my stories sadly enough….So, if you're still there, I would adore some reviews. Do you think it's getting better? Worse? Can't remember? **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: So… maybe I wasn't as ambitious as I thought… yes, I'm horrible. **

**We're going to get through another chapter or so of Hermione POV and then the Draco's going to start coming in. it'll probably alternate a bit throughout the next few. I'm really hoping this works out…**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

"Miss Granger? The healer's ready."

I followed the kind, older lady into an exam room and took a deep breath.

"_Mrs. Meyers? This way please."_

_I followed the surgeon down the hall of the intensive care unit, gasping for breath as my head spun. The officer who brought me to the hospital trailed behind us as I was led into a small, white-walled room._

"_I know this will be difficult, but I'm going to need a positive ID on the victim."_

_Victim. How… Impersonal. Duncan was a lot of things, but he wasn't a victim._

"Hello there. And how are we feeling today?" A healer came through the door, smiling so widely that the corners of her eyes crinkled.

Mortified. Claustrophobic. Panicked.

"Fine," I chose to say instead, forcing a weak smile.

"Well that's wonderful. No morning sickness?"

"Not yet. I've been drinking a lot of tea."

"Also very good. Have you done this before?"

I nodded, smiling for real this time.

"Alright! Well that certainly makes things a little easier. And will your husband be joining us today?"

I froze, my heart starting to pound. Why would she ask that? Suddenly a glint caught my eye. My wedding ring still encased my finger. I hadn't gotten the strength to remove it.

I shook my head weakly, "No, no he won't be."

Something registered in her eyes, but I didn't bother to wonder if she assumed my husband had left me or if she had hit closer to the truth.

"Alright. Well let's get this exam underway then."

About twenty minutes later I was given a clean bill of health and told to keep it that way. Before I left, however, I turned back, a sudden thought occurring to me.

"Can I ask? Is it okay to apparate while I'm pregnant? Or would that put the baby at risk?"

"Well it certainly isn't recommended due to the risk of splinching, but in a pinch it shouldn't hurt the child. Just make sure it doesn't become a habit."

I smiled reassuringly, "No problem. I'll see you at my next appointment."

With that out of the way, I hurried out of the building, making sure Ginny was nowhere in sight.

I was planning on following the healer's advice, and walked the ten blocks to the Ministry of Magic. It felt odd using the visitor's entrance, and it took awhile for me to decide where it was that I had to go.

Finally, I decided on a level and the phone booth began its descent. The ride was too short and I stood outside the door to the Office of Magical Law far sooner than I would have liked.

I walked the short distance to the reception desk on shaky legs, hoping they wouldn't give out on me.

"Excuse me? I was wondering if I could book an appointment to speak with a lawyer about… Well I'm not really sure I know what I need to talk about. Someone who deals in missing persons or living wills, maybe?"

The receptionist looked up with an extremely bored look mixing with annoyance.

"I'll put you through to Dan Aldridge."

I sensed there would be no more communication between us, so I focussed my attention on the patterns in a vase sitting on the desk until a thin, balding man emerged from the hallway.

The receptionist pointed in my direction, so I took the man to be Dan Aldridge. My suspicions were confirmed as he introduced himself a moment later, shaking hands with me before leading the way to his office.

"So, Miss. Granger. Care to tell me why you're here?"

"Right. I-um- Sorry," I looked down to gather my thoughts before starting again, "I'd like to declare my parents legally dead."

I left the office a little over an hour later. Mr. Aldridge had informed me that what I wished to declare was 'Death In Absentia', which occurs when a person, or in my case people, have disappeared but no identifiable remains can be found. I reported my parents missing about three months after the battle at Hogwarts. I'd given up trying to find them on my own. It was highly suspicious, the way they just dropped off the face of the earth, and I decided that I needed help from the Aurors if I stood a chance at finding them. Now, I understood that I would never find them. It had been too long.

In most countries, declaring death in absentia required at least seven years to have passed, but in England this was only necessary when a substantial estate was left behind. My parents were by no means rich, and so my case didn't require either this law or an inquest into their disappearances. Dan had promised to take care of it, although it may take awhile. But I'd waited this long; a little longer shouldn't be a big deal.

Without realizing it, I'd walked back to the Leaky Cauldron. Since I'd just spent a small fortune on my meeting with Dan Aldridge, and was likely going to spend much more on him, I decided to head home; Ron had picked up Mattie from day care today.

As I rounded the corner, however, I stopped abruptly. There was a fight about to break out. I was about to go around it until I recognized one of the participants. His blonde head wobbled antagonistically, and the venom coating his words was enough to spark anger in anyone. I sighed. Looks like Malfoy drank a lot more than he was supposed to.

* * *

**DRACO'S POV (earlier that night)**

I watched as Granger walked out the door, her always-bushy hair bobbing with each step. I suppressed a sigh and turned back to staring at the swirling liquid in my glass.

Growing up, I'd always sworn that I would never stoop to the level of an alcoholic. I hated the thought of being so weak that I had to rely on drink to get me through the day. Now, however, I understood the plight of alcoholics. It wasn't just about needing the strength to get through the day; it was about numbing the day itself. Alcohol gave me a protective buzz, a cloud where no one could touch or hurt me. It blocked out all of the unpleasant things in my life, making way for a relatively purposeless existence. It prevented me from getting too close to anything, and so I would never be hurt again. No connection meant no emotion, and no emotion meant no hurt. I hated hurt.

I don't know how long I sat there, but the drinks kept coming, blurring into a continuous string of nothingness, like they did every night. I haven't decided which I like better: the burn, or the opportunity to forget the past ever happened.

"_Don't you walk away from me!"_

I flinched, switching to fire whiskey. I needed harder liquor.

"_This isn't over until I say it is!"_

I gulped back more burning liquid than necessary, and the memories dulled, the rest of the night passing in sweet oblivion.

Until I left the bar, that is. I stumbled through the cobblestone streets, trying very hard not to trip. I'd given up on apparating while drunk awhile ago; it never worked out favourably. That, and I didn't want to risk disturbing the little tyke with my less-than-graceful landings. Despite what Granger thought, I actually liked Mattie. I loved watching Ron with her, and I didn't even mind babysitting every once in a while.

My thoughts halted as I walked into what appeared to be a solid wall. It wasn't, however, a wall. It was a very large man, with very large arms. However, my arrogance shines through a little more when I'm inebriated, and so I figured I could take him.

"Watch where you're going," he growled.

"Why don' _you_?" I countered. Maybe not the smoothest comeback…

"Yeah? You gonna talk tough with your designer loafers and pretty-boy blond hair?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm not jus' pretty."

He snorted, and then I noticed two more guys hovering in the background. Maybe this wasn't a good idea…

The big bloke moved closer to me, invading my personal space more than I'd like. I would have come up with some witty retort or other, but I got interrupted.

"Oi! What's going on over here?" A distinctly female voice yelled.

I took the opportunity to stumble back from the man as he assessed the intruder.

"Ain't nothing going on here. You just walk along now. Wouldn't want you to get yourself into any trouble now, miss."

The politeness with which he spoke seemed uncharacteristic of him, even though I'd only met him five minutes ago. I'm a good judge of character.

"Don't worry, I won't be getting into any trouble. I'll just be getting him out of your hair. Sorry about this. He's… a little drunk."

I barely registered that she was talking about me -whoever she was- before my arm was being draped over the shoulders of a shorter body, and I was being led -no, dragged- out of the alley I'd somehow found myself in.

"What're you doin'? Stop it. I hav' ta go back there!" I protested, not realizing how slurred my words were.

"The only place you're going, Malfoy, is home."

It was then that I recognized the bushy brown hair that belonged to the woman holding me up.

"Granger?" I laughed, "What're you doin' here?"

"Apparently, I'm serving as your own personal bodyguard," She scoffed, "Or perhaps your mother."

I laughed again, "You're not my mother. Mum wouldn' care enough to come an' get me."

She didn't reply, and we walked in silence. Or rather, she walked. I stumbled.

"Honestly, Malfoy. Can't you lay off for one night? Is life really so terrible that you have to go get wasted and pick fights with blokes twice your size?"

"You have no idea," I slurred mournfully. And it was true. I was always a mess at this time of year.

She said nothing once more, and we completed the rest of the walk to the flat I shared with Ron in silence. On the front porch, I fumbled with my key until she pushed me out of the way with a sigh of exasperation. She whipped out her wand and murmured what I assumed to be _Alohamora_, before opening the door and pulling me inside.

"Ya know wha'? My life. All it is is- is is?" I stop mid-sentence, my numbed mind confused by the repetition of the word, "Is that right? All it is is alcohol and regret."

"Can't be that terrible. You seem perfectly fine to me."

Maybe I do, but that's what I want. I don't want anyone to probe too deeply, because I want this to stay buried. It belongs in the past, although it never stays there. My attempts at healing the wounds each night always result in this type of situation, and the bandages never stay on for long.

"_Oh, Merlin! What did you do? What did you do?"_

And with those words echoing in my mind, I finally sink into the darkness I've been waiting for all night; the only darkness that can bring me peace from the horror I've caused.

* * *

**HERMIONE'S POV **

Of course he would pass out before he makes it to bed. I'm definitely not strong enough to do anything with him other than be grateful we made it to the couch, and so I leave him there. His face took on an almost peaceful expression after he passed out, an expression so different from the tortured agony that coated his features all day. Looking down at him, I could almost understand why he put himself through the drunkenness. I can't imagine what could be so terrible that he needed to go to such lengths to forget it, but I can't fault him for chasing peace; he just needs to find a better way to get it.

"_You have no idea."_

His words had been so full of emotion that it shook me for a moment. Draco Malfoy didn't strike me as the kind of man to be able to convey so much in four words. Sure, he'd always been threatening to a certain degree, but those words held more than threat. They held agony, bitterness, resentment, regret, anger, hopelessness, depression, and many more adjectives than I'd care to think about. That statement hadn't been typical of the Draco Malfoy I'd known and despised, and I couldn't help but wonder what had brought about such a drastic change in him.

I yawned then, and realized that I should probably get home. I checked in on Mattie briefly before departing, Draco still laying on the couch, savouring the peace he so desperately craved.

* * *

**A/N: So it's a bit longer… I'd hoped to get more into it because, knowing me, I might lose this ambition to write again soon… but I thought this was pretty good end spot. So next chapter won't be 100% Draco POV because… well because I need to get a couple more things accomplished before I put it together. And because I need to set it all up so it doesn't end up being lame…**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Ok, I'm trying very hard to stay with this until it's done! I want this done before the end of summer at the latest. Here's hoping! I've been posting prewritten chapters up until the last couple, and this has brought me a real problem. I wrote Positive about two years ago, maybe longer, and i've definitely become a better writer than when i started it. There's a bit of Draco down the way where i basically recap Hermione's life in Positive, and i just need to tell you that paraphrasing that story in a paragraph made me realize how... immature of a writer i was. I kind of find it funny, except i'm stuck with everything i've written and now have to make it realistic... So i'm going to get more Ron POV in here hopefully, but Hermione is going to be kind of taking a backseat to Draco for a couple chapters. At least, that's my intention. It probably won't go that way, especially since i didn't mean fo Draco to dominate this one as much as he did. Oh well, please continueon down the page to actually read what you clicked for!**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

**HERMIONE'S POV**

I'll never overcome the oddity of waking up in an empty flat. I have nothing against Mattie living with Ron as well as me, but it's still… strange, hearing the silence in the morning.

As I rolled out of bed, the events of yesterday came flooding back, overwhelming my mind until it was all I could do to shut them out, focusing on one issue at a time.

My parents. After years of searching and hoping for their recovery, I finally have to admit that maybe I failed them. I assumed that finding them in Australia after Voldemort was defeated would be easy. I was wrong. I searched all throughout the country, but found no trace of Wendell or Monica Wilkins. They could have moved elsewhere, but I was confident that my memory charm would keep them in place. I can't help but wonder what has become of them. Perhaps the Death Eaters found them after all. If that's the case, it's no wonder they've disappeared. I can't think about what those monsters might have done to them. Of course, that might not be it at all. I hated being so utterly helpless and clueless; it's not in my nature. In school, I was always the smart one, the competent one, the one everyone turned to for answers. Now… Well now I didn't know what to say. I brushed a tear from my cheek somewhat angrily. I hated crying, but found myself indulging in tears quite a bit. Of course, this was my parents I was thinking about, so I think I have the right to shed tears over them.

My child; mine and Duncan's child. I sighed. I needed to let the people I cared about know before they figured it out for themselves. As it is, I don't think any of them would be too pleased to learn that I'm two and a half months pregnant. Not to mention that the only person I've told is Draco Malfoy. I almost laughed. Two times I don't expect to get pregnant, and look at me. I've got to be the most inconveniently fertile witch there is… Either that or I'm just careless when it comes to birth control…

Draco Malfoy. Never have I been more confused about a person in my life. Just when I think I've got him all figured out, he puts me back to square one.

"_You have no idea."_

It was so much simpler in school, when he was a Slytherin, and we were Gryffindors: sworn enemies. It was so much easier to blindly hate him, not that he didn't give us reason. He was arrogant back then, a haughty and condescending prat. This new Draco was very disconcerting to me. He was still his old self, yet there are redeeming qualities thrown in. He changed somewhere along the way from the time we left Hogwarts. Maybe it was the close contact with Voldemort, or maybe it was how close he came to death. Either way, he's different, and it clashed with all of the notions I'd held about him since first year. I hate change.

Last night… I'm not entirely sure what last night was about. Like I said, this new Draco confuses me. He didn't seem like the type to drink his problems away. He didn't seem like the type to have problems, period. But I guess he has some kind of conflict in his life, given the fact that he's living with Ron, and not on his own. The last I heard, Draco was getting pretty serious with some woman or other. There was something about that that tickled my brain, but I quickly dismissed it. It wasn't my concern. I had other things to deal with.

With that resolved I hurried to take a quick shower and magically style my hair. Life was so much easier with full use of my powers, and I can't believe I lived for so long without them. Of course, I had good reason, considering Duncan would probably have had me committed or left me if he had known. Duncan… The mention of his name -even in my thoughts- still brought with it a rush of sadness, not that this wasn't expected; we were married, after all.

The thought of my late husband also brought with it the thought of his sister, Trish, whom I hadn't contacted since my departure from Canada. She was going to be an Auntie. A rush of guilt accompanied this thought. I'd left without much warning, and she'd been upset at my departure. I'd promised to keep in touch, but had yet to fulfill that promise. What better way to start than to tell her the good news? I sat down to write, trying to ignore the fact that I was overly cheery.

_Trish,_

_I know, it's been quite a while since you've last heard from me… I'm sorry it's taken me this long to write. But I do so with great news. I'm pregnant._

My pen paused, unsure of what to write next. What else was there to say? Would she expect something else? Would she be pleased? Or would she be angry with me for moving across the seas and dropping this bomb in a letter?

Sighing angrily, I crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it in the trash, running my hand through my hair. Maybe this would be harder than I thought.

* * *

**DRACO POV**

My eyes squinted against something bright. Too bright. What in the name of Merlin was so damned bright? Opening one eye slowly, I realized that it was only the sun, shining cheerily through the window. Well the sun can go suck Merlin's saggy-

"Drake?"

I groaned. Why was Ron standing over me? Why was he in my room? Further opening my eyes, it dawned on me that I wasn't, in fact, in my room, but rather on the couch. Why was I here? What happened last night? I was still dressed, which I took to be a good sign.

"What are you doing out here?"

Rubbing my hand over my face, I spoke, my voice grating like sandpaper, "I dunno. I think…"

_Brown bushy hair dragging me to the couch. _"I think Granger brought me here?" I asked, not that he would know any different.

"You have got to stop doing this, Draco," Ron scolded, frowning over me.

I snorted, "You're one to talk. I recall a time when you were right there beside me."

He had the decency to look slightly ashamed, "Yeah, well I'm different now. Those days are gone. I owe that, in large part, to Hannah. She helped me see that drinking doesn't make the problem go away. And I know that you know that."

"So what if I do?" I said defensively, my words still sticking somewhat in my throat as my head pounded mercilessly. "It may not stop it, but it makes it go away temporarily. That's all I ask."

Ron rolled his eyes before retreating to the kitchen, waving his wand to further open the drapes. I yelped in pain at the sudden brightness, shouting a few obscenities before remembering that there were small ears around.

"Sorry," I muttered, "Forgot about the little tyke."

"S'okay. Dropped her off at day care hours ago," Ron's voice carried through the rooms. That startled me. Hours ago? Why was he home without her then?

"What time is it?" I asked groggily, pulling myself laboriously into a sitting position.

"Almost one o'clock. I came back for a late lunch. Didn't expect to still see you passed out. Figured I'd better wake you," There was a pause in which Ron seemed to realize something, "Did you say Hermione brought you here?"

"I-uh-yeah… I think so, at least. All I remember is bushy brown hair and a shrill voice."

"Sounds like her." I could tell he was grinning despite himself.

Merlin, this whole situation reminds me of a really bad soap opera. The ones where people can fake their own deaths and come back years later, steal each other's children, and shag everyone else in the cast, yet still end up friends with everyone, all wrongdoing forgotten. I never believed those things could be real. I can remember a time, back in the Hogwarts days, when I'd gotten together with Pansy on summer break. Our parents wanted to 'have a coffee' which we both knew was code for them wanting us to spend time together.

"_Tell me, what exactly is this rubbish?" I drawled. Pansy's head rested in my lap as we watched some television show she insisted was 'the most amazing thing ever… for Muggle television.'_

_She smacked me playfully, or as playfully as Pansy can. "It's not rubbish! I mean, sure any Muggle show is… rather inadequate, but something about this one just hooked me."_

_I rolled my eyes. Girls were so stupid. _

_Silence engulfed us. I could faintly hear our parents laughing in the dining room. _

"_Gavin, I will _always_ love you!" A fairly attractive blonde woman screamed at the retreating form of a tall, dark haired man on the screen, "No matter what you do, no matter where you go. I'll always be there with you!"_

_The man didn't even pause. I hadn't been paying attention, but from what I guessed he was walking out on her. _

_The scene ended with the woman falling to her knees in the rain with tears streaming down her face and he makeup smearing terribly across her face, before it transformed to her falling through the door of what appeared to be her flat._

"_He left. He just walked away! How could he do that, Giselle? After all we've been through?" She wailed, her voice grating on my nerves; I realized it was not much different than Pansy's._

_The Giselle girl ran to her friend's side, "Oh honey, he'll be back. He just needs time. He lost his wife, after all."_

"_B-But he was going to leave her for me!"_

_Giselle looked shocked. Apparently this was a secret the blonde had not shared. "Oh, Marina!"_

"_I guess this is karma. I knew God was waiting… Biding his time to punish me for what I did to that poor poor Susie."_

"_Sweetheart, that wasn't your fault. She just ran out in front of you. We all forgave you for that a long time ago. There was nothing to be punished for."_

_After that lie, I pretty much tuned out. Instead, I focused on how I was rather bored. Pansy was engrossed in the show, and didn't notice my dismay at having to be stuck watching this filth with her. I'd rather be helping the house elves._

Remembering this now, my lips twitched slightly, yet I couldn't shake the irony. Who knew that life could so closely resemble a television show? And a Muggle show at that. What with Granger running off to hide a freak pregnancy after realizing it might not be her boyfriend's baby, only to be found a year later with the child turning out to be Ron's, as well as with a ring on her finger from another man. And a few months after that, the bloke was dead, and Granger was running back home with her tail between her legs, only to discover that she was, yet again, pregnant. This time, it was with her late husband's child, and she still hadn't told anyone. Everyone except Ron's mother had forgiven her and moved on, seemingly without resentment. In the midst of all this, she was in the middle of some meeting with lawyers over something.

Wow. I didn't think anything this complicated could ever be possible. It's almost too much for my hung-over mind to comprehend. Usually my mind was too clogged to process anything until after three, by which time I would have found more alcohol to numb it up. Maybe that's the only reason I can sort it all out; the fuzzy throbbing of my head just pounds it into place.

I attempted to stand, clutching my head as I did so. When this went reasonably well, I proceeded to stumble into the kitchen and fall into a chair. You'd think I'd be good at this by now.

Ron sighed, looking up from his coffee, "Bloody hell, Draco. You look even worse in this light."

"Oh shut it."

Smiling to himself, Ron rose and went to the cupboard, sifting through the dishes for an extra mug, pouring me a coffee as well. I gulped it greedily after cooling it with my wand.

A _pop!_ in the living room signified someone's arrival by apparition. Ron's smile widened as Hannah's voice called out. I winced at her chipper tone as she flounced into the kitchen, kissing Ron softly in greeting before throwing me a disapproving look.

"Had a few too many last night, Draco?" She inquired, and I could hear the disdain dripping from her words. Ron, however, remained blissfully unaware that anything was amiss, or maybe he just acted like he was.

I grimaced, "A couple."

She didn't look surprised, and turned back to Ron without a second thought. That was alright with me. While I was glad Ron moved on, I wasn't too glad that Hannah seemed to regard me in the same light as everyone else he knew did. As sad as it was, I was starting to think that Granger was the only one who was softening a little. Our relationship has never been cordial, and yet I remain the only person who knows of her pregnancy.

"_I'm pregnant."_

A feminie voice rang in my head and I winced in more than just physical pain. I couldn't discern the voice from the statement alone, nor did the distant echo help any. Rising, I stumbled to the bathroom, neither Ron nor Hannah noticing. Once inside, I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to jolt myself out of the memories.

"_Marry me, Mitsy."_

Not working. I ran cold water over my hands, splashing it on my face. When I looked up into the mirror, I hardly recognized the man staring back at me. Sallow eyes, ringed in light purple travelled over the unkempt blond hair and stubbly chin with a haunted look that, as happy as I tried to convince myself I was, wouldn't go away.

"_Marry me."_

"_Marry me."_

The echo of my voice, of who I was, filled the bathroom. I clamped my hands over my ears, squeezing my eyes shut.

_Fluffy white shit blanketed the ground. I always hated winter. Whoever thought cold and wet coating the Earth was 'magical' belonged in St. Mungo's. I kicked at the snow as I made my way to the reasonably large house located in the middle of the best neighborhood in London. When I reached the door, I extended a gloved hand to ring the bell. _

_As if the fact that there was frozen rain on the cement wasn't bad enough, people found it fun to ball it up and launch it through the air, where it collided with some solid object. Often, that object was another person. Of course, the children in my neighborhood had discovered long ago that I didn't take kindly to snowballs, so I was never the target. I almost feel bad for the Finch boy I hexed. His nose has never been the same…_

_The door swung open to reveal a thin, balding man. "Mr. Malfoy, please come in."_

"_Gorfin," I acknowledged the man with a slight nod, removing my coat and handing it to him._

"_Miss Bullstrode shall be along in a moment. Please, sit down."_

_I thanked him curtly as he took his leave before sitting on the couch stiffly. It was not very comfortable. The entire house was tastefully decorated, only the latest in design trends. A moment later, Mitsy Bullstrode descended the spiral staircase beside the front door with all the grace and elegance of a queen. She was exquisite, with her long bleach blonde hair cascading down her shoulders in light curls, and her midnight blue robes fitting perfectly in all the right places. Countless magical transformations to her face had resulted in a perfect picture of beauty. _

"_Draco, my love," She greeted, swooping in to kiss me in greeting. I could feel the warmth between us as our lips met. _

"_Shall we go? I have a dinner reservation at The Phoenix."_

_Mitsy gasped in delight at the news. The Phoenix was the hardest restaurant to get in to. Only the best for my girl, and for this night._

I wrenched my eyes open and flicked on the water in the shower in irritation.

The scorching water of the shower washed away any thoughts I may have had. I spent the entire time clenching my teeth against the pain of the scalding water beating against my skin while simultaneously relaxing my mind. When I stepped out from under the jets, my skin was red and raw, but my thoughts were muffled. I didn't have any clothing with me in the washroom, so I wrapped a towel around my waist and made my way to my bedroom to get dressed.

* * *

My head once again started to pound by the time the doorbell rang. The sound pierced my ears and I grimaced slightly as I stumbled to the door. It swung open to reveal...

A little blond boy running across hardwood floor, squealing in delight as a nanny chased him exasperatedly.

That wasn't right; I blinked, and the scene dissolved to instead reveal Granger standing impatiently on the threshold.

"Well? Are you going to just stand there all day?"

This brought me to my senses and I quickly stepped aside to allow her through.

"What are you doing here?" I asked warily. I wasn't in the mood for the lecture I felt I was about to receive. Something most likely about how I was setting a bad example for the kid that couldn't care less to tell a drunk me from a sober one. Really, the little tyke wasn't even two yet; I doubted she would go after the firewhiskey just because she caught a glimpse of me passed out after a binge.

"I dropped in to see how you are. And to talk to Ron," She supplied, her tone implying innocence. She glanced around.

"Ron's not here. I assume her left with Hannah."

I tried to ignore the look that crossed her face. She had no right to resent Ron moving on; he was entitled.

"Oh. And how are you feeling?" She inquired, surveying me from a distance.

"I'm alright. A little hangover never killed anyone."

"A _little_ hangover?"

"Yeah. I've had worse."

She scoffed, and began rummaging through her bag, finally withdrawing a small bottle of what looked like sludge. I scrunched up my face as she held it out to me.

"What am I supposed to do with that?"

She rolled her eyes, "What do you think, you idiot? Drink it."

"No thanks."

She was persistent, I'll give her that. I ended up downing that disgusting concoction. It was an experience I'd rather not repeat, but within fifteen minutes, the pounding in my head subsided.

"I learned how to make them a couple of years after Hogwarts," She answered my unasked question.

"So why are you looking for Ron?"

"I'm… I'm going to tell him I'm… you know." She looked nervous.

"Right. Well best of luck."

She rose, sensing my dismissal; although I wasn't entirely sure I wanted her to leave. Having someone around kept the memories at bay.

"Malfoy, do you mind my asking… Last night you said I had no idea how bad your life is. What exactly is so bad about it?" She was hesitant in her question.

I was startled, not remembering saying this at all. Maybe I _should_ cut it down a little. My defenses snapped up and I could see she sensed it.

"Never mind. It's none of my business," She hurriedly backtracked, turning to the door.

"You're right. It's really not," I reiterated coldly. She seemed taken aback, and I almost felt some sort of regret for my harsh tone.

She said nothing else, and as she stepped through the door I muttered to myself, "It's because of the memories."

* * *

**HERMIONE'S POV**

As I stepped through the doorway, berating myself for thinking he'd answer, I heard him mutter 'It's because of the memories.' I was sure I wasn't meant to hear that, and kept walking, adding it to my small mental compartment where I'd boxed up the mystery of Malfoy. Since Ron hadn't been home, I decided I'd skip right to Harry and Ginny, who were likely just getting home from work.

* * *

**DRACO'S POV**

I closed the door after her retreating form, hoping she hadn't heard the words I hadn't meant to speak. I turned around and saw once again the squealing little boy as he ran up to me.

"_Come and play with me Daddy!"_

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**A/N: So there was a lot of Draco in that one. Way longer than I thought it would be. I was aiming for 6 pages… got 14! Let me know what you think!**

**This edit is for HAPPY, who severly pissed me off. I did NOT put this is a Ron/Hermione section, and if you would open your eyes and read my summary, you would notice that it says Ron and Hermione NOT a couple! There are no characters listed in the story's info, and even if there were, just saying that the story's main characters are Ron and Hermione DOES NOT MEAN they are a couple. It just means that they are the main focus. I would also like to say that I changed the characters and put that statement in my summary BECAUSE of the complaints. You want to report me? GO RIGHT AHEAD! There's nothing to report! I have made it clear that they aren't a couple, so if you want to continue to bitch at me for something I haven't done, will you please SCREW OFF? **

**Thank you, and please check your facts before you complain next time.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I would like to start by apologizing for the lack of Ron/Hermione moments. I intended for there to be more, but then I started to write and it veered off and then I didn't update for forever… Long story short, I'll try for more. Next, I would like to say that being called childish for something I haven't done is very insulting. I am by no means a child, and I honestly don't care who clicks on my story. If you want to, you will. If you don't, well then that's fine by me. There's nothing I can do to make you want to click on it any more than you do, and I'm not immature enough to want to hook people in with false promises. I have enough confidence in myself as a writer that I don't need to stoop so low. **

**I leave anonymous reviews as an option because I don't want to only receive reviews from members, but this is still being abused. If you want to criticize, and you have an account, don't submit an anonymous review. To me, that's cowardly, and just as immature as you accuse me of being. If you want to show me that you are mature, put an actual name to your threats, instead of cowering behind anonymity. It's rude and insulting. If you want to talk to me about maturity, try for some yourself first. Also, don't try to guess my motivations. You are not me, and you have no clue what I'm thinking. Don't assume you do.**

**The focus of this story when it started was to show the changed relationship between Ron and Hermione and parenting Mattie. Of course, ideas occurred to me along the way and everything shifted. I initially had this story with those two as the main characters, something I changed after the complaints. I did not mean those two were the couple when I put them there. I only meant that they were the main characters. I did not put this story in a Ron/Hermione section. I put it in the Harry Potter section. If anyone has a problem with **_**that**_** please let me know, and I'll be sure to move it from here period. I personally think it would fit well in **_**Vampire Academy,**_** don't you?**

**I have put it in my summary that in this story they are not a couple at the moment. That by no means suggests whether they will or will not ultimately be together. This is put there to warn people that they are not together at the present time as I write, and so if they don't want to read them being apart, they should click somewhere else. **

**Sorry to those of you who leave **_**nice**_**,**_** polite**_** reviews. I'd hoped to be done with high school drama, and I must say I feel quite pathetic that I have to sit here and defend myself against an unjustified attack through an anonymous review. It's childish and disgraceful.**

**Anyways, on with the actual chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**HERMIONE'S POV**

I took my time approaching the door to Harry and Ginny's flat. They'd invited me for dinner, and I was going to take the opportunity to tell them about my pregnancy, adhering to my 'no secrets' policy. Last time I was in this situation, I panicked, but this time I found myself strangely calm. It wasn't like I needed to be nervous; I wasn't seeking their approval.

I raised my fist and rapped on the door as a gust of cool wind blew my hair from my face.

_The air swirled around me as I stood outside Trish's door, tears streaming down my cheeks. How was I supposed to tell her that her brother was dead?_

Ginny opened the door looking positively radiant. Her happiness was contagious, and I found myself smiling back brightly at her.

"Come in, come in!" she insisted. I made my way past her and stopped short. The entire Weasley clan was packed inside. Way to blindside me, Ginny.

"Wow. Talk about a full house…" I muttered.

"Mommy!" Mattie yelled, running headlong at me as I bent down.

"Ohhh, sweetheart!" I wrapped her in my arms, smiling broadly, "How was your night with Daddy?"

"Fun! We played princess!" Mattie grinned from ear to ear.

I laughed, picturing Ron in a pink tutu accompanied by a large tiara, "Oh did you, now? And was Daddy a good princess?"

My daughter nodded enthusiastically and I laughed in earnest, looking up at Ron, who flushed a deep shade of scarlet.

George joined in my laughter, "I always thought Princess Ronalda was rather beautiful."

I laughed loudly at the expression on Ron's face.

"Oh shut it, George. Like you haven't played dress up with her."

Now it was George's turn to blush in embarrassment.

"Play nice, boys," Ginny winked before she retreated to the kitchen.

"Oh come off it, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think it's adorable," I said, still smiling. I could now picture both Ron and George curtseying to Mattie as she sat in a tall chair. Ron looked back towards Mattie and I, his eye catching mine. Our grins mirrored each other's.

"What's adorable?" A distinctly feminine voice interrupted, and I tore my eyes from Ron's to focus on Hannah striding into the room. Perfect. I watched as Ron extended his arm to wrap around her waist, pulling her to his side. I wasn't startled by the jealousy I felt at this action, but I felt immediately guilty. I had no right.

"Princess Ronalda's stint as the fairest in the land," George supplied.

"Let's not forget Georgina the Ballerina!" Ron shot back.

Hannah looked appropriately confused, but no one took the effort to explain much past 'dress up.'

Mattie ran off to go attack Mrs. Weasley, who still hadn't looked at me, and I made my way to the kitchen, careful not to look at Ron and Hannah, who were now talking quietly, smiles lighting their faces.

Ginny bustled around in a fair imitation of her mother as Harry stood leaning against a counter. He wasn't trying to help in the least, just watching his wife with love shining in his eyes. Another wave of jealousy. Before I screwed up so royally, this was me and Ron…

I cleared my throat and both of their eyes jumped to me. "I-uh- I have to tell you guys something."

"What is it?" Ginny asked, halting in her movements.

"I-uh- I'm… I'm pregnant."

"You're what?"

I froze. It wasn't Harry or Ginny who had spoken.

* * *

**DRACO'S POV**

I slid onto the bar stool. I was starting a bit early, but I needed to. My mind hadn't stopped spinning all day. After Granger left me alone, I slipped into a light sleep. I didn't dream, and was thankful.

Now, however, I needed a little more help to shut my mind off.

_Mitsy Bullstrode was the type of woman who turned heads. Every warlock within a mile radius of her was acutely aware of her presence, and every witch was green with envy each time she entered a room, commanding attention. Of course, on top of being beautiful, she was a very gifted witch; one of the best in her year. Mitsy was a hot commodity, and it was this that drew Narcissa Malfoy to take the first steps to set her son up with the witch. _

_Draco was reluctant to go out with her at first, but once that first date was over, he was hooked like so many of the others before. The difference, however, was that Mitsy was just as enamored with him as he was with her. It was a great buzz around the gossip community, that Mitsy Bullstrode might just be serious about someone. _

Sighing, I stared down into my firewhisky; it was going to be a long night.

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**A/N: Thoughts? please no flames, it doesn't help and all it does is make me angry. Constructive criticism is the best method!**


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